The Sweet Life
by holmesfreak1412
Summary: [Cracktastic!AU] Sasuke is abstaining. Naruto is losing sleep. And Hinata's exhibitioning? Oh, life is very sweet indeed! An ideal couple's drama throughout university years, when sex rules and long distance hurts. Because Sasuke doesn't really want to die a virgin. And Hinata does have some secrets that she prefers keeping. [Sasuke/Hinata]
1. Libido

Title: The Sweet Life

Author: holmesfreak1412

Fandom: Naruto- Alternative Universe

Pairing: Uchiha Sasuke and Hyuuga Hinata

Genre: Romance, Humor

Rating: M for sexual innuendos

Summary: Sasuke is abstaining. Naruto is losing sleep. And Hinata's exhibitioning? Oh, life is very sweet indeed! An ideal couple's drama throughout university years, when sex rules and long distance hurts. Because Sasuke doesn't really want to die as a virgin. And Hinata does have some secrets that she prefers keeping

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

AN: The letter "I" in my keyboard is broken so I may have missed a lot of typos. Sorry about that. And this is only practice for me. I do not know how to write fluff but I am trying. :D

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**The Sweet Life**

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"Take it off." A shuffle. In which he really starts to hate Skyping with some inexorable passion. "Now."

"But Sasuke-kun!" A half-hearted protest ensues, whereas the girl from the live video feed blushes profusely as she tries to avoid looking at him in a superfluous attempt to seem indignant. Wraps her arms around herself. Pouting in defiance. Eyes darting in every direction that is suddenly more interesting than her now fuming boyfriend. Like the overly bland closed door visible above his shoulders as she regards it warily. She looks even more apprehensive than usual, which to the horny boy before her, is a definite turn on. "Someone might see us." she whispers with a noticeable resentful wince, even though she is all but a thousand miles away and that any embarrassment in doing this from her part should be virtually illogical.

I mean, come on! They have had phone sex a lot of instances already. More than enough that is, that she could already lead him on in an eargasm effortlessly. It's only imperative for them as a healthily attracted couple of two years to finally take this on the next level. Right?

Teenage boy logic. Unfortunately.

Hinata looks away. Sasuke glares.

"Naruto is not here." He insists sourly, his dark frown and impatient huff indicating that the room is getting really too hot already despite the whirring of the air conditioning. And did he mention that his boxers should have been two sizes bigger? Damn these manufacturers for not making such garments flexible during certain moments, "And neither is Sai." He addswith considerable care, remembering her general wariness of the eccentric artist. "So you have nothing to worry about. Now. If we could proceed." He shrugs his broad shoulders, thinking such gesture would further emphasize his dominant authority. Boys should always be on top after all. Take that both ways. "Take. It. Off "

The lights are off—courtesy of him thinking it was safer for her to see as little of her hold over him as possible. And his seat is getting more uncomfortable every passing minute—thanks to her taking her sweet time of wrapping him around her essence. And the tent is standing as tall as ever despite her (sexy) reluctance. The vixen… And people think of her as innocent? Tch. How shallowly misinformed they are indeed. "What are you waiting for now?" he grumpily prompts again, when she still hesitated. Fidgeting with her… familiar shirt, like usual. Sasuke grumbles when he realizes. It was his. The one he gave her before she left for America as a cheesy sort of remembrance. Or maybe just because it rained that day. Stupid shirt that was now hugging her when its original owner couldn't! Fuck his life!

Why must she be so irresistibly fuckable?

One hand is already poised inside his underwear as he sent a glare towards the live feed of her (sexy) image in the blaring computer screen. Meanwhile, cursing Skype for not yet inventing some sort of software to teleport him in America and finally have his manly, Uchiha way with her. He gives an experimental pump on his ever hard length. And groans. He pumps some more. Oh God. "Hinata…" His swivel chair is already bouncing at his desperate self-ministrations as he closeshis eyes and tries to imagine that the warmth enclosing his arousal is hers. He is drooling. And panting. And everything else Uchiha Sasuke tried not to do when he watched the movie adaptation of Icha Icha Paradise with the boys an hour ago. "Do you…" A rubbing in his slit. "… have any…." Squeezing of his balls. "… idea…" Push and pull with his cock. "… about what you do to me?" A wanton (manly) moan comes from his mouth. "Oh God…" He needs this.

But he still is nowhere close.

On the other side of their suddenly really big world (stupid nursery rhymes tell lies!), Hyuuga Hinata watches her long distance boyfriend of two years get it on with himself in his own chair. Eyes wide. Mouth open. And her own lower extremities feeling like it needs a pantyliner soon. The rickety sound of his trembling chair resonates around her mysteriously quiet room. As if those needy expression of his isn't enough emphasis already. Unconsciously, she finds herself rubbing her own clothed ache and sticking her foot in between her thighs as Sasuke continues to grit his teeth at her in what seems like frustration, if he doesn't look so pleasantly unfocused. Rub. Rub. Rub. Oh Goodness. Pretty soon, Hinata is already bumping (thrusting) on her heel in her signature quiet frenzy, her fingers having a mind of their own as it move faster over her middle. Innocent scratching since it hurts. But with her eyes closed and her face blushing, such guilty stage of masturbation could easily be mistaken even by Sasuke as just her overly shy nature taking over. Thank her webcam for letting him only see her upper body!

But that was until… "Sasuke…" she moans, practically giving in. Her boyfriend looks up in surprise. And then smirks. Is he really that irresistible? In fascination, he momentarily pauses in his carnal activity, and watches his girlfriend learn through the wiles of an impending orgasm. And the beauty of being touched, even by oneself. He wonders idly if she already is bare waist down.

Damn. Skype better have some prototype instant transmission software or he will do it himself.

"Aah. Hinata."

"Sasuke." She murmurs now, stopping to look at him with the cute frown that she sports when she demands of something she suspects he might deny (which is by the way, everything. She's that insecure). Then comes the inevitable blushing as she calms herself through breathing exercises. Her voluptuous chest heaves in the motion. Sasuke stares, mesmerized. "Can you take off your shirt too?" she lets out, looking hugely abashed as she once again, pokes her finger pointers together.

Sasuke grins. Hinata flinches. Scary. Skype's tendency to slow everything down doesn't help in that either.

In less than a second, the high-collared, dark blue shirt is thrown in abandon as the sight of Sasuke's lean but muscular physique made its way into Hyuuga Hinata's disposal, causing the girl to readily throw her own clothes away in answer to the granted plea. Creamy, flawless white skin welcomes him as the abominable shirt is finally taken off. Sports-bra-covered twin mounds point at him provocatively, her peak of arousal very much apparent even despite their pixelated reception. Sasuke's mouth indiscreetly waters at the erotic sight. And so the blush in Hinata's face grows into something that greatly resembles a firetruck. A cute firetruck.

Instinctively though, as if just realizing that she is just about a thousand times less modest than she usually were, Hinata's slender arms flew to obscure herself from the exposure with a surprised, embarrassed squeak, which Sasuke hardly appreciates. He was so close!

"Take that off too." He gruffly commands, gesturing both for her arms and the offending eyesore for an underwear, wishing he had some sort of telepathic optical powers to burn those. In answer, the poor girl predictably hides further in her own skin, all of her sensibility as someone from the stereotype coming back with a vengeance.

But she complies.

If he did think that the Sai's sketches about naked women with impossibly sharp nipples weren't physiologically accurate, he is considering revising that opinion now. Twin, excitable breasts stood very much erect before him, somehow begging to be pacified.

Wow, he thinks while licking his dry lips. Was he really this much of a virgin?

"Touch yourself." He requests, his fist pumping even harder now in his middle. He saw this kink in an anime once. Might as well try it, eh? So close… Dammit… "Gimme a show… Ugh…"

A sound of protest is unsurprisingly heard a midst the chappy reception, with Hinata's image blushing even more than she ever did as she magically manages to hide more of herself by slightly turning away from him. She is trembling. Embarrassment. "Sasuke-kun!" She stammers out, countenance looking rather apprehensive. A quirk of the lips that signaled a long-lasting wince. "Is t-that really n-necessary? I mean—"

"Just do it… Dammit…"

"But—"

And there comes that ominous, cockblocking knock on the door you thought you would only hear in a crappy Rated T anime.

Hinata squeaks.

Sasuke growls in derision and counts: five... four... three... two...

Before a voice then cuts in obliviously. "TEMEEEE!"

Sasuke sighs.

Hinata's eyes widens with a fluster. "Oh God. It's N-Na-Naruto-kun!" she exclaims breathlessly in panic, eyes as big as saucers. Trembling, she ducks down from the camera view as she hurriedly skirts away from the screen. And so she disappears in an instant from his sight.

Stupid tunnel vision web camera.

Suddenly, he feels himself deflate.

"Hinata." He intones with a massive sigh, running the hand that had been in his now disappointed hard on, into his hair, raking through strands as was his wont when relieving a little of his stress. Took a deep breath. Slid away backwards from the computer. And again, mightily exhaled. He couldn't say anything else though. What was there to say anyway?

When she replies back, she has already returned to being dressed again, her white eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry." She murmurs, head bowed. And there commences silence.

Which is again broken by a loud knock from the door behind Sasuke and a loud, inconsiderate screaming: "TEME! JUST OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR." Screeching of the hinges would soon follow then, like the dobe had some endless temerity to think that Sasuke would pay for the door. And think it was okay. "Oi! TEME!" he screamed further with some resounding abuse to the poor door. The harsh raps became even more persistent and Sasuke, as overly fastidious as time had made him to be had no choice but to say goodbye to his long-distance girlfriend for now and save his apartment's privacy from Naruto's apparent lack thereof.

This is awkward…

He decided he would just tell her it was okay once they have the guts to try it again. He knows well she is not ready for this yet…

Swiveling around on his chair as he retracts his calm demeanor, Sasuke then is made to realize with dismay that tonight is not the night to bother with cheesy-as-hell apologies and sly goodbyes. Or whispered I-love-yous. Or the much obligatory see-you-soon.

She has already gone offline.

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Uzumaki Naruto isn't one to adore reticence. Nor does he actively exercise one's right for discretion. If anything, he is that everyday guy who prefers to have no secrets to be kept within his "field of comradeship"— whatever the heck that is— and likes to believe that he is the type of person people would easily confide into and trust. That, he said, is really what it takes to be the best Prime Minister Japan would ever have. Even though, in reality his lack of awareness with his more-than-frequent Freudian slips is reason enough for people to avoid spilling their beans to him. More so than they should be generally wary of the deliberate gossiper that is, which gets pretty destructive for his already shabby reputation around those who know him the least.

But the guy does mean well. Sasuke couldn't really deny that.

Which is probably the reason why his girlfriend Hyuuga Hinata used to be head over heels in love with him some years ago.

"So when is Hinata finally coming back eh, Teme?" said Dobe questions with his characteristic enthusiasm. Waving his arms frantically. Eyes glued to the TV. Legs spread all over the orange couch in lethargy. All this while gluttonously slurping his usual bowl of instant ramen. Since, as he said, the dinner club he is surprisingly president at had been pretty busy with plans about parties and whatnot. At his inquiry though, Naruto obviously is all ears with his answer. "Did she tell you, uh teme? Did she? Did she? Did she?"

A chopstick is then accurately aimed at the other's person when the blonde didn't hear any response.

Beside him, Sasuke growled lowly to himself, fists curling frustratingly over his damp hair after the much needed cold shower succeeding the er… failed session. Where he had to make do of what he could pick up through memory and instinct. And yeah, the image of a printscreen he secretly took with him earlier. While that had been relieving indeed, he still has the inkling that it wasn't enough just yet. Damn his chastity and dignity! With a glower, he throws the offending utensil back to the expectant dobe, lips forming a thin line.

"What?" Naruto protests when as expected, it hit him on the face, indignant.

"Spring break." Sasuke only grumbled in reply, frowning. Then as if the cruel brief silence that follows is reminding him of the fact that Hinata, herself isn't sure of that, he loses confidence. "I… think."

"You think?" Naruto's aquamarine orbs are wide.

"Hn," he snorts. "She is pretty busy these days okay? We didn't really have time to clear thing out just yet."

"But Sasuke!" his self-proclaimed bestfriend then exclaims in exaggerated flabbergast. With the animated flailing of the arms, he may add. "It had been like, what? Two and a half years already! And you are dating for two! Won't she come back here for her younger sis's highschool graduation or something? Or even Neji's!" A frown creases his whiskered face. "Or even just for you! I mean you're her boyfriend right?"

True. Sasuke indeed is her boyfriend. Who by the way, even though she probably doesn't know it, loves her to death. But most people when they heard of how their relationship had progressed since it being official roughly two years ago , would most likely just brand it as a ridiculously, long-lasting, internet fling. Theirs is a pretty much unconventional relationship after all. With them meeting only a few times before she left for America to continue her studies in Law. And their affair and commitment only developing through the convenience of exchanging friendly emails. And later, stimulating talks that soon bordered on the sexual when the physical ache for each other became too much. Yes, Uchiha Sasuke is Hyuuga Hinata's boyfriend. But sometimes, even he doubted that title as most people around him inevitably do.

But Naruto's unintentional reassurance during times when he doubted the worth of being a martyr virgin for Hinata keeps him going though. Apparently, the blonde politician-wannabe is the only person who ultimately understands the dynamic of the relationship they fostered over late night chats about art history— a mutual symbiotic exchange they have somehow formed after Naruto introduced them to each other in Ichiraku during freshman year. At the time, Sasuke had been the neophyte kid who ambitiously searched to disprove his own brother's well-acclaimed theories about a cryptogram made in the Renaissance time. And Hinata was just another insignificant political science student, who had taken some liking with the philosophy popular during the Rebirth, according to Naruto. Sasuke isn't really one to romanticize but indeed, after the events that proved to be a turning point in his life as an Art Historian, they really are quite meant to be.

"So Sasuke-san…" she had asked him, possibly out of drilled politeness after Naruto had ungraciously left them together to their own devices, with both feeling awkward as hell. That time, Sasuke wanted nothing better than just go back under his lair and solve the stupid riddle. Hinata didn't seem much comfortable with her predicament either. Shy girl. This one… But she did have the guts to ask in any case. "Ano… Who's your favorite Renaissance artist?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Such amateurish icebreaker. Everyone had asked him that already. More specifically, the fangirls. She was probably one too, considering how she was blushing like that at their "unwanted" proximity. Stupid girl. "Hn." He monotonously gritted out, not bothering to inform her that contrary to popular belief, he wasn't really fond of Da Vinci or Michaelangelo or Botticelli. That he was more inclined to the unpopular ones that went unappreciated through the Vatican's overly biased treatment. That he didn't like Raphael. Because he was such a money-making hypocrite. That Savanarola could have changed things, if he hadn't been so much of a Bible Freak.

Taking his unresponsive murmur a sign for uncertainty however, she spoke again. This time, with something that resembled understanding. Which he didn't see coming"That was pretty mindless of me I guess." She said, smiling softly, eyes regarding him. "I mean, asking that is like asking what a supposedly open-minded literature student's favorite book is. It's virtually an impossible question. Each genre has an advantage and disadvantage after all and to be prejudiced into one would be like losing a valuable perspective that is crucial to remain objective." Her lip curls. Sasuke is surprised to find himself deducing that she looks kind of too thoughtful for a blushing, flustered, seemingly good-for-nothing girl. "Asking you that… would be like an insult to you? Eh… Sasuke-san…"

And this is when he slowly started changing his mind about her.

To hear her say that made Sasuke realize how wrong he was in always taking sides in his own field of studies. He was a historian dammit. Not a cheerleader that would compare such wasteful thoughts as the what-ifs and could-have-beens in a time he didn't have a control over. Hearing her higher expectations for him as Uchiha Sasuke of the renowned Uchiha Curators, struck a deep cord in his heart. It was all too familiar.

And yet somehow, she was the first one to make him want to actually meet it all the more.

But he wasn't about to lose his stance. Hn. Not today. "Indeed." He acknowledged her, with a supportive nod to which her head snapped up as she perkily listened. "Who's your favorite philosopher?"

He had meant that as a rhetorical repartee to her intellectual rant but she readily answered anyway.

"John Maxwell." She chirped in delighted excitement but then seemed to have been ashamed by that and started to hide in her person once again like she was still as wary of him as she had been when they were stuck together minutes ago. Sasuke didn't understand.

Until… "I sound like a hypocrite now… don't I?"

And it made Sasuke chuckle. The first time in weeks since he took it upon himself to singlehandedly wrestle the puzzle he believed Itachi failed to solve. Here was a girl. Beautiful. Smart. Proper. Polite. Sensible. It made him somewhat satisfied though that she wasn't really as perfect as her earlier words almost made her sound to be.

He extended an arm. "Uchiha Sasuke."

She smiled, taking it. "Hyuuga Hinata."

They exchanged numbers that night.

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"Yes. I'm her boyfriend." He softly mumbles to himself while Naruto was thankfully too engrossed with Kamen Rider again to bother with his lovelife. If talking to Hinata through cyberspace like once a week counted as one any way.

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"Seriously Sasuke…" Meet Sai, Sasuke's major life's annoyance who unfortunately also is his doppelganger, as well as his other assigned roommate. Someone who made it a business to make his life hell. AKA: Magically appearing around times he and Hinata are having one of their "Talks", greeting his girlfriend so casually with a ridiculous nickname (as in Princess, apparently the one from Far, Far Away) and not being so discrete into thinking in the same gutter as Sasuke himself that Hinata is too sexy to be so unreachable. The three of them are now currently in the library, having agreed with such arrangement to save themselves seats always. Naruto is out wandering around with Sakura somewhere. Most likely getting it on in one of the more obscured shelves. And so, Sasuke is unfortunately left to fend for himself with the creep.

An uncannily perceptive one at that.

An impressionist painter by aspiration, Sai is only one of those few people who knew it when Sasuke is feeling extra-stressed. Usually, he hid it well from the world. But the artist, in all his ineptitude in the matters of emotion seems to know when just to strike the low blow. Yeah, he is that annoying. But at least, the guy does help in his recent studies over the aforementioned cryptogram he had been studying even before he and Hinata became a thing. Sai, was kind of an art psychologist, which is very useful in his iteration of the Renaissance psyche— a very important ingredient into finishing the better college thesis than the one Itachi had. Otherwise though, he could easily be dispensable.

"What?" Sasuke snaps back from his book in irritation, wondering what the hell the guy wants now. The last time he pestred him like that, it was for him to pose for a nude shot. Needless to say, that left the artist with a broken nose.

The pale Uchiha look-a-like shrugs, eyes drooping in schooled nonchalance and some careless attitude. But his lips are quirked enough upwards for even the dumb and dumber to realize he is terrible amused. "You really need to get laid."

Silence.

You could hear a pin drop.

A glare,

An innocent look.

A growl.

A close-eyed proud smile.

Hands choking a tie.

Obsidian orbs widening in slight fear. Or so he expects

Glaring some more.

Sai raising his hands in mock surrender, as his eyes closes in that infuriatingly, happy, fake smile again. "I mean… I know Hinata's very pretty and all. Nice tits. Flawless skin. Wonderful figure Cute, tight ass—"

"Say anything more and—"

"But the thing is, she's in America." He finishes, undeterred as ever, the smug smile of success prominently present on his pale face. Not looking at all like he would be going to piss his pants soon at the intensity of the Uchiha's killing intent. If there is anything really more annoying about Sai's general absence of empathy, it is his immunity to intimidation. Even Sasuke couldn't manage to strike the same fear as he did when they met the first time. The painter had gotten too tolerable of his presence for his own benefit. "I don't think I could put up with that no matter how hot Princess is—"

"Well, I'm not you."

"—considering that you don't seem to have plans on rescuing her from the dragon she has for a father." He finishes looking proud of himself at the result he got. Sasuke is scowling. But he seemed to be listening at least for a change.

"Where are you going with this?" Sasuke glowers, teeth clenching in barely suppressed agitation.

Sai hummed, unaffected. But his dark eyes has that suspicious twinkle. "Oh. Just being a good friend advising his roommate about some stress relief. I read that my efforts of camaraderie would be appreciated once the other person is rid of his own personal turmoil. And I can see that you kind of need it…" He glances around conspiratorially, head moving from side to side in a comically irritating manner as if looking for something. And Sasuke is right. He is. "And look there's Karin. The Meganekko." He gestures towards the other table, his grin one of mischief. As if it made him look like fucking Eros.

Against Sasuke's better judgment though, he turns to look about what's the fuss with the red head that got Sai in this hype. And sees it instantly.

Four-eyes is winking suggestively at him. At Sasuke. For a moment, he actually lost his breath…. As he feels himself repitch the occurrence in his pants the other night.

Goodness…

"Making bed room eyes already huh." remarked Sai, smirking in victory, immediately noticing the Uchiha's tense muscles. "What timing."

"Shut up."

"Pretty cute too. Red eyes. Hourglass figure. Fiery demeanor. She must be quite good at fellatio."

"Shut it."

"I wonder if she is a screamer. But I think she is the deliberate type. Not really fond of those."

"Dammit you bastard."

"But I have to admit she still pales against Hinata though. I mean, goodness. That Hyuuga chick is such a meat."

Hinata. He exhales a deep sigh. Right Hinata.

His beautiful, blue-haired, pale-eyed girlfriend… Soft-looking skin… Great figure… Nice, bouncy boobs he wanted to touch so damn much…

Oh God…

Sasuke didn't bother excusing himself as he quickly bolted towards the nearest refuge. He needed that cold shower. Again. He pointedly ignores Sai's dark chuckle from behind him, deciding his anger should wait for later. He still had some unfinished business with little Sasuke.

Hinata had better be online tonight.

**(TBC)**

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	2. Insomnia

**02**

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Moist tongue wraps itself around his length. Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. Each oral stroke on his sensitive flesh eliciting a moan from the Uchiha. Nngh. Nngh. Nngh. Hinata's sweet lips kissing the tip in an elaborate tease, before enveloping him completely with the feel of her warm mouth. Sucking. Flicking. Fucking deep-throating. Pumping his throbbing essence with hands that he never knew to have such dexterity. At the back of his mind, he severely notes her uncanny ability to push the most responsive of his buttons, like a gifted pianist making a difficult song flow smoothly into absolute submission. Or, more climactic for him: an artist taming a multitude of kaleidoscope into her disposal. Watching her bobbing head and lustful countenance as she works on his release is just inexplicably erotic already, without the occasional electrifying brush of her fingers over places that she deems neglected. Eyes closed and his lips injured after too much of his biting, Sasuke realizes that Hinata indeed has done something unprecedented in his years of celibacy (coughvirginitycough): proving to him that sex, if anything is indeed quite underrated.

Considering the wondrous amount of porn sites advertised around his email account, that tidbit of epiphany is obviously saying something.

Renaissance Men getting it off with inanimate objects in their era suddenly doesn't seem so absurd now. The rough bark of the tree must be pretty relieving. Or even some stupid marble statue of the perfect woman.

Good Lord!—the suddenly sappier than sappy Sasuke grieves to himself,—what is it that you are doing to me? (Typical of horny Sasuke by the way. Putting the blame on some other unreachable, omnipotent deity just because he doesn't like to admit it's purely the sex talking). This isn't him at all!

But that, as is graciously aforementioned, is only lurking away unnoticed at the back of his mind.

He is too busy to hear those immaterial concerns as it is.

Losing control, he finds himself shoving his manhood further through each of her delightful ministrations, hands desperately combing through her luxurious hair if only to keep her in place. Like at any moment of inattention, she would disappear. Fluttering opal eyes peek up at him as a sliver of tongue slip past her lips in order to lick the base of his hard shaft, moving through the tip and fro forcefully with expertise. Nipping. Kissing. Pumping on his balls to demand more of his attention. Free hand massaging on his thigh as if all of those aren't enough. Swallowing his dick whole, her sweet mouth becoming even more daring as the muscles of her throat clamp tightly on his throbbing member, the quaking vibrations he is now blissfully feeling signaling of a moan suppressed. He looks down at Hinata and with some satisfaction, notes that she has a hand down inside her panties, the outline of her pumping fist not leaving much to the imagination. Such a sight inevitably drives Sasuke to lose his cool as he lets go of any prior inhibitions and finally lets out a strangled moan.

Kami…

Underneath him, the bed creaks loudly… Eeeaaaak…. It is quite the ear splitting unpleasant kind.

Hn. Probably the reason why he couldn't hear Hinata moan… but then again, isn't her mouth too preoccupied to even moan his name? Geez… Why is he too much of a virgin in these matters anyway?

Running a dainty hand around his sac. The other rubbing his thigh. Her delicious warm mouth practically eating him all up. He feels her meticulously manicured nails dig on his balls as she bravely squeezes, her fist reaching the space that her mouth couldn't. Pumping relentlessly. Pushing and pulling as if she enjoyed him being completely under her wily spell. Sucking on him like there is no tomorrow. Sasuke can take it no longer. Closing his thighs together, he couldn't help but scream in absolute ecstasy…. as Naruto begins shrieking his own profanities as well…

Wait.

Naruto?

The fuck?

"DAMN IT TEME!" His cloudy, nebulous-as-of-now mind manages to decipher amidst the barrage of thrown pillows and malicious laughter, along with a frustrated huff and shuffle of feet. The rain of comfy projectiles however does little to knock him off his reverie (as it unfortunately only turns out to be). Stomping of feet resonates from below him, with Naruto furiously ranting about something that seemed to have sufficiently awakened the poor sexually-frustrated Uchiha out of his erotic sexual escapade…

With his own hand.

Oh. Where the hell is Hinata?

"GOOD GRIEF! IT FEELS LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE IN THERE." the effervescent blonde resumes his exclamation of tirades as he aims more of the fluffy ammunitions towards the dazed Uchiha, who by the way still shamelessly have his hand around his manhood, the tent itself far from being deflated. From the periphery, Sasuke spies Sai shaking his head in amusement, muttering something along the lines of: "so sorry that dickless is even more refined not to lose it like that in just a wet dream." Meanwhile, not looking at all bedraggled as if he himself didn't sleep.

The impertinent eavesdropper.

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"I MEAN IF YOU ARE HAVING A NIGHTMARE TEME!" the dobe is grumbling loudly but almost to himself, looking pretty upset. Apparently, Naruto is as determined into waking up other people in the building at three fucking A.M., as he was ungraciously shaken by the unearthly groans and shaky tremors from the upper deck of their bunk. But that is intentional. Naruto is not dumb although truth be told, he almost thought it was that scary Boogeyman from all the bedtime horror stories told to him by the nuns in the orphanage. If it actually didn't come from the upper part of his bed and had he not heard the name "Hinata" breathlessly muttered away several times in between a man's wanton grunts of ejaculation. But if anyone's got to be honest, this is just as scary. Ooooh.

Of course he could have easily just told him to fuck off and get laid somewhere. But being the goody-too-shoes in this story, Naruto is not one to condone such acts of philandering. One thing always leads to another after all and knowing how unpredictable life is (Look, Sakura accepting him after TEN YEARS of hopeless wooing is evidence enough), it would not be a big surprise if the biggest consequence stems out of the smallest mistake. Yeah, life is unfair like that. But moving on, Hinata is his friend too. And she certainly doesn't deserve something like that to occur in their relationship!

Yeah, Naruto is a very traditional man like that.

But then Sasuke…

Naruto sighs. Contrary to popular belief, it takes a lot of intelligence to play dumb. He doesn't really want to confront Sasuke about this matter anytime in the near future, lest he risk putting his own friend's only ever relationship into jeopardy just because his pity for him has given him some ideas. Abstinence in a long-distance relationship is one thing. Entertaining perfectly beneficially justified enough thoughts of infidelity is entirely another though. Geez, Naruto thinks in frustration. If only his best friend's situation isn't so much of a two-way manhole. Endurance hurts. But so does regret.

Seriously, when is Hinata planning to come back anyway?

"I HAVE SOME PILLS IN HERE THAT'LL HELP." He exclaims his heart out in conclusion. In the meantime, kicking himself on the inside for having to act like an idiot for being a coward so as to not just talk to his friend about it. But he is completely losing sleep over this! And tonight is a proof that it could easily be translated into the literal.

Damn. A masturbating Sasuke is one loud creature he would want to avoid.

And Naruto is already the deepest sleeper and the loudest himself when awake, one might add.

"Hn." A disbelieving snort is heard. Naruto directs his attention to Sai with a resentful glare, who obviously is none too keen into helping with his cause. The artist has his arms folded behind the back of his head, pajama-clad feet casually suspended in a crossed position as a smug smirk slowly graces itself into his pale countenance. He is smiling. That is always a bad, bad sign. "I wonder. Did Ugly really manage to create that kind of pill for your 'nightmares'? What achievement! Thought she just spent more of her leisure time sucking your little package over there just to give you the pleasure of having dreamless nights."

"Hey! Don't talk about Sakura-chan like that!"

"Eh? You want me to elaborate further, eh Dickless." retorted the eccentric painter. He cocks his head to the one side, eyebrows raised as he tries to seem mock thoughtful. "Hmmm.. According to what I read in Kakashi's favorite book, the girl should start kneeling—"

"Oh just shut your trap would you!"

"Fine." He holds his arms up, looking none the intimidated by the prospect of being pummeled into death by two of the University's most vicious fighters. In fact, he appears rather unaware of all those killing vibes being abundantly emitted right now. But maybe that's just because his eyes are closed. Damn that stupid smile! "But you could as well let Sakura come over and have her suck the Uchiha's dick. Or any of her friends for that matter. Or—this is good!— perhaps, a threesome?" He claps his hand in false merriment. To which Naruto openly growls. "Maybe then, we could actually sleep peacefully without having to dream how hot Hinata must be in his."

"You!" Naruto shrieked angrily, fists flailing. "I'll kill you!"

Smoke rumble. Anime style fighting. Whereas Sai much, much, later emerges from the scuffle amidst scattered blankets and pillows (some which are already soiled with earlier's Bukake party: Sasuke's obviously), relatively unscathed and smiling as he looks over in triumph to a tied up Naruto.

Neither noticed that Sasuke has long since already left them on their own.

.

.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

Hinata's quietly reluctant tone of askance makes Sasuke look up for the first time since she videocalled him a while ago, his eyes drawn and unfocused. The way it had been when he avoided looking at her for some reason during the first minutes of their awkward chat feed, their nonexistent conversation only consisting of observing each other's faces for any signs of forgetting the occurrence that disastrous night. And the glaring fact that Hinata chose not to be online the following day and the next. Now, roughly a week later, oppressive silence hung heavily over their bowed heads as Sasuke continues his ineffective attempts of pretending there is nothing wrong with his unnatural quietude. Like a dark cloud of uncertainty weighing them down, it seems that their relationship is pretty much under the weather today. Tapping fingers. Fidgeting. Hands drumming anxiously over the keyboard because he has nothing else to occupy himself with. All the while taking care not to drown again in those beautiful, pale eyes he so wants to fill with lust. And the desire for him. To scream his name… For him to be a real man… To kiss those lips… Oh God those lips… Ugh…

Geez…

Damn, he gruffly scolds himself inwardly, feeling dumb for even thinking about it. Because, come on, he should be angry with her! Not showing a sliver of a shadow in those hellish two weeks. Blaming the stupid courtroom training her father had insisted for her to take. Practically forgetting she just left a boyfriend hanging and waiting for her to shower him her love. Really. What had she done all this week? Favoring sleep and stupid judicial dramas over a hardly effortful walk towards rebooting the computer and just talking things out with him? Was a missing statement of assets and liabilities infinitely more interesting than the small remembrance that she, his girlfriend should miss him? Or did she think him too gross for even considering that exhibiting himself was a proper way of pleasuring both of them? If the latter was true, then that's absurd! He didn't even have the chance to show her his package yet!

Actually, he concedes, sighing in some dreamy daze, featuring him and Hinata alone in a bedroom (apparently, he's not romanticized enough to even conjure a flower field). He prefers them to be seen by her only in the last minute, when it would finally— finally!— be shoved in her throat…

Oh goddamnit.

He should be angry, he knows. He should be acting like the jerk that he was before they met. And had she not made an impression that lasts till this day. But unfortunately, those wide, lavender-tinged orbs are filled with so much guilt you would think she had kicked a puppy on her way to the courtroom's podium. Which is probably to her, the most heinous offense she could ever commit. Lips parted. Shoulders hunched. Facial expression expectant. She apprehensively waits for his answer, trembling and ohhhh…. sweating! Droplets of which slithering down her temple as it painstakingly, alluringly descends towards her pale neck, towards her collarbone… and finally into the inside of her… damn, stupid shirt. Take that off! Dammit… Why must Eve eat that apple anyway? Would have saved them a lot of trouble if she didn't! Sasuke briefly wonders how Adam must have felt when she thought that nicely-cut leaves are the new fashion statement.

Hn. Probably thought of her irresistible in any case.

He sighs. He should be mad. Yes, he should be very mad! But Hinata is just too cute to stay upset at for long without succumbing into the wiles of the lolicon because, damn it, it is insanely sick but that fucking innocent vibe is doing its job on leaving his pants on fire for a long while that even the coldest of rainshowers couldn't put it out. It didn't help at all either that these days, he would have this recurring grotesque dream about a buck-naked four-year old Hinata climbing on his lap and asking him whether he wanted a cookie.

He doesn't even like sweets but heaven be damned, if he doesn't want a taste of it anyway. Although its quite true that he wants a lap dance more than any of those sweet, abhorrent delicacies, he would take whatever that is generously offered. Yeah, he's so much of an obedient slave for her like that he could literally dance with snakes if prompted so.

But as Sai, unhelpfully noted: she's in America (which is as he said, really "far, far away").

So maybe his cock is now standing as tall as ever at the sight of her regretful countenance (and that frilly nightgown too. Not see through though, unfortunately) but as usual in the past few months of his battle with his sexual frustration, he couldn't exactly do anything enough about it.

So he has no choice about the matter but to busy himself… by hearing her out.

"My f-father…" she lets out at last upon seeing that his tacit, undivided attention for her words is the cue for her to make excuses. Which is quite derogatory, if it isn't true. For her to wipe that scowl away from his handsome face, she has to make her apparent absence as unintentional and unplanned as possible, even though she kind of have to sugarcoat some things. "W-Well, you see… " she starts, wondering if the following reasons could be counted into the hall of shame for the most ridiculous excuse of all time. Avoiding a horny boyfriend all week after all is quite a cruel feat. More so since he obviously thinks likewise. "Er… Y-You see…. Hm… I w-was grounded." A nervous chuckle follows, to which Sasuke's glare intensifies. "I m-mean I must be really d-distracted these past few days so I k-kind of spaced o-out during my lectures… and er, it k-kind of shows."

That much is true though.

But not exactly to that extent.

I mean, come on. She's already nineteen for heaven's sake! She wouldn't be locked in her room for a week just because she thought class was pretty boring. (Or the secret hushhush fact that she just wanted to get laid more than she wanted to actually write an essay in her Philosophy class. It kind of hurts too so the pain is pretty much a reason in itself but no one— and she really means no one— should be cursed enough to hear her say that)

So yeah, she wasn't really grounded.

Seconds later whereas in all the awkwardness you would suspect that Kami himself stopped by to play shogi, it is proven that the genius, amazingly emphatic Uchiha Sasuke however thinks so as well. He steeples his fingers together, eyes boring on her in minute scrutiny. "That's dumb. What are you? Five?"

Caught.

Hinata blushes, thoroughly humiliated.

Sasuke, on the other is nowhere near amused.

I mean, how would he be? When all he could think of is the fact that he couldn't punish her for her white lies in the really delicious way he would prefer to?

"If you are avoiding me, you could as well just admit it." He finds it in himself to snap harshly, his thin, chapped lips now forming a downward curve of disappointment as he regards the live image of his long-distance girlfriend with a look of wariness. Arms crossed. Sulking. Hinata could even swear he just pouted. "If anything, you shouldn't drag the ass you have a father in order to deny that." He continues, appearing grumpy. "Geez… if anything, I blame him enough for our predicament that is. There's no use… worsening that when we both know well it's our fault."

Yeah, it's purely theirs.

After all, as Naruto once sermoned on the mount, what use is there into blaming fate?

It's true that fate did force them apart.

But did they really have to go against the rules of any sensible commitment just to seem close enough when in reality, they are doomed to never be? Did Sasuke really have to ask her out that day two years ago even though she's roughly a continent away and practically out of reach? Was Hinata really that selfish to accept even though she already knew what a man such as him would eventually demand? Even though she herself, is pretty much unsure of what drove him to pronounce that he actually could love her?

They are so much like binary stars in that respect then. So close. Yet so far.

Even to this day, Hinata doesn't fully comprehend the reason behind why Sasuke has stuck with the idea of her (because reality check people: technically she's never there so it couldn't be because of the more superficial details) all these years. But hell be frozen, if she isn't grateful with that. In fact, like the matter of compensation that should exist in any healthy relationship, she has learned to love him for it that. Loving Sasuke made her love herself. And for a girl who has been struggling with her perpetually dwindling self confidence since the beginning of time, that means a lot. Her thankfulness for that is what soon that she can confidently classify as love.

But then it is of no secret between them that in the end, it is Sasuke that covers the majority of the love that needs to kindle the fire within their passion. And the very fact that someday he might get tired and stop, scares Hinata to death.

Which is why most of the time, Hinata is being the selfish one. Ironically, the fault in the other side of the equation is that Sasuke is just so damn selfless in answer as well.

So Hinata stares at him and weakly nods in understanding. "I'm sorry." She replies accordingly with a sigh, feeling worse than ever for not telling him the truth. The gnawing drilling of guilt in your gut, when you know that your significant other is very much in suffering because of you. Hinata closes her eyes and finally confesses. "It's just that… I feel so inadequate. I know what's going on between us Sasuke. I'm not as d-dumb as people make me out to be." Which is quite often mind you, with most taking her supposed 'innocence' as some proof of her not knowing anything about the male anatomy. She reads smut too and last week, well, let's just say she had taken it as some hobby to rub herself during shower. "I mean, I think this is one of the reasons why long-distance relationship rarely works. Me, being here in America wouldn't help you ease your… p-pain. Nor would it in any way lessen my guilt. And it's already been two years for you." They haven't even kissed yet, for Kami's sake! "We haven't had a chance to meet after we made things official you know. And that's kind of saying something."

"That you're dumb." He affirms, shrugging. How many times would he have to growl at anyone just to say that theirs is more than just a stupid internet fling? Even she is being this shallow? Did she really disregard the times they shared when they are not trying to turn on each other? They are the simply best in his life! "Seriously, are you breaking up with me?"

He said that so hurriedly that an outsider would think he doesn't care.

But Hyuuga Hinata infinitely knows better.

"No!" she denies vigorously, vehemently shaking her head in such a tremulous manner you would think she is having a panic attack of sorts. Which is probably it. Chest heaving precariously. Those wide opalescent eyes. Mouth agape. She gives him a pleading look. "I mean… I know I am being selfish and all but it's not really like I want what's between us to end just like that."

"Exactly." He agreed, nodding approvingly with a subtle, satisfied smile. He also doesn't want it to end. The anticipation… Oh my God… "I know you love me."

"But…" Oh, there's a But? Now he understands why it's universally the hated word. Sasuke grits his teeth. What now? "It's your choice you know." She continues, blissfully oblivious of his inner turmoil. " You're the man. I understand how hard it must be for you to be patient just like that. I love you and if I have to be honest, I would want to keep you to myself until I come back." Which is hmm, when again? Sasuke has long since lost count because of all those postponements. Last year, it was Christmas. Then this year, it should be Spring Break. But it all ended up with her being too damn busy to even buy a plane ticket home. "But Sasuke, what we need between us is a way out. A closure. An agreement." She continues, with a regretful sigh, her shoulders hanging. "I just want… to give you an option, you know. I just want to tell you… that I won't mind if you hang out with other girls. Even though, I know well it would hurt."

The last part was whispered softly to herself. But Sasuke, as sharp in auditory senses as the odd music teacher, Orochimaru has harnessed him, heard it anyway. He finds himself clenching his fist. "So… you think you could remedy things just like that?" he asked with some incredulity, not believing that those words of sheerly naïve submission just came out her mouth. The fact that she thought herself beneath what he needs, just because she is not here. Of course, Sasuke knows of Hinata's pretty much pathological issues against anything that might hint of her inadequacy. Having such low self esteem has many a time hindered her from the most noteworthy of opportunities, with her having not gained anything just because she refused to take a risk. But this… this selflessness from her part is just about to go overboard en route to the self destructive whereas we all know she doesn't deserve this even though she thinks she does. Sasuke isn't happy and for that, he clenches his teeth in anger further.

He refuses to go after what Sai has inconsiderately prophesied. There is no way he would be the man Hinata is currently making him to be. Really, did he strike her as that low to bother about dignity?

Perhaps, he shouldn't have gone to far with his exhibitions.

A tense silence soon follows.

Which is broken, of all things… by a laugh.

Hinata looks up in surprise.

Sasuke is officially now being, hysterical. "That's funny." He said, after that bout of forced out sarcasm, not at all meaning it. "You mean to say that I stayed a fucking virgin with you for years for me to fuck some other slut just when I am already going to be qualified for sainthood. Do you hate me that much Hinata?"

To say that Hinata is shocked is an understatement.

She is mindblown!

"You're a virgin?" she gasps out disbelievingly. This is ridiculous. Oh God. This doesn't help at all! "Kami, Sasuke. I'm so sorry."

He glares at her, unappreciative of her unneeded apology. What? So he really is qualified for Virgin Mary's place in heaven now or something? Wow. Some life. And what is so surprising about his chastity anyway? Is he that much of an oddball? As innocent and conservative as she is, isn't she a virgin too? He agitatedly narrows his dark eyes on her, conveying easily through the little gesture that he is quite annoyed. And such sourpuss is not one to be messed with. "Shut up."

A slash of light in the heavy atmosphere. Thunder rumbling. Lightning casting a diabolical spectacle. All metaphorical of course but she does shut up anyway. Fearfully.

"Now." He begins, once satisfied that her attention is entirely fixed on him. He has always liked exercising such authority over her after all and this is no exception. Particularly, since she is acting so ludicrously through things that isn't even much of an issue in the first place. Hn. He is quite the dominatrix it seems. Sasuke discretely smiles to himself. He rather likes the sound of that. But first things first… "Listen to me."

This time around, he wants her to recall that there is indeed more to them than just being a sex-deprived internet fling.

And maybe then, he giggles inwardly. Ouch. So OOC. They can finish where they left off.

(TBC)

Dedication to: the guest reviewers, A sunny place for Sasuke, mikes0me, damnheart.03, Milkshakecat200 and lady sweet pink. Thanks for your reviews guys.

Next chapter should be a flashback interlude of sorts regarding SasuHina's relationship. With still the lime twist though. *winkwink. I'm so glad I'm not the only closet pervert around here. And eight reviews, eleven favorites and twenty-two follows are quite good going for me for the first chapter. Thank you guys! Hope it gets better as the story progresses though XD as I have always wanted to have a fanfic with 100-something reviews but I was yet to come with the achievement. Probably because I rarely ever write multi chapters myself.

A lot of people has expressed concerns about a cheating Sasuke. Hn. Well, I'm just saying that by chapter four Hinata would be back and Karin might just be the last thing to be wary about. I am enjoying Sai's character in here too. He sure has a lot of cockblock potential. Lol. And who doesn't love a fanfiction!Naruto when he isn't portrayed as a dense bastard?

So sorry if the shift in point of views confused you but I try my best. And tell me if the humor is corny. I have weird grasp of it that some people may find stupid. Haha. I get a lot of that.

Please review. And tell me what you think.


	3. History

**03**

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.

Interlude

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Ichiraku Ramen has then become their usual element.

It's strange. Surreal even. How things between them started that is. One awkward first meeting and a quaintly intellectual conversation had actually led to more chance encounters over the next two months, with them somehow often being in the same place at the same time and later ending up conversing on various subjects with each other over a nice hot bowl of ramen. Suspiciously also, with a disappearing Naruto who surprisesurprise (this is not sarcasm!), suddenly didn't have any mood for some of his beloved brothy (disgusting) noodles.

And so begins their fairy tale.

It is through their second talk about things such as art that Sasuke began to appreciate her company, commending with approval the way she seems to carry herself well in the more factual debates over topics that only people with a historical reading passion could know about. A solid proof, if any is needed in the judgmental light of her rather timid demeanor that she indeed, is a lawyer in training. Pretty as she is with the glossy dark hair and plump, cherubic features, Hyuuga Hinata is quite easy in the eyes as well, with such soft expression that wouldn't give away the knowledge that lurks behind the smiling face (or for that matter, her uncanny ability to astound people with her words) and it helps a bit that she knows more Renaissance artists than just Mona Lisa. (Leonardo Da Vinci, she would correct you if ever you make such erroneous statement. "And don't talk to me about Dan Brown and Leonardo being gay. That book… ano… is BS") Of course, with her trained propriety she would avoid saying the big words. Which is, by the way a big plus.

He already curses enough for the both of them to last a lifetime (a lifetime with her?), that is.

She was an okay-girl. Sasuke didn't know until it's too late that he really, really liked that. (He hates the fact that he could have had hardcore sex with her already had he made sense of his feelings sooner. I mean, no one could really stop Sasuke from getting the woman he loved by his side. Not even the faggot Hyuuga Hiashi himself! She would have been here now. Sigh. But unfortunately… she wasn't. Hn.)

But moving on…

Within those two months, their world is so small that they get to talk to each other casually in daily basis. Nodding cordially at each other when they meet in the hallways. Not minding if they sit side by side in a less-than-packed Ramen shop. And basically tolerating the quirks of the other. Like not thinking him a homo for being with Naruto most of the time. And not teasing her by her own stuttering bad habits incessantly as she would have expected. By the second week, they were already in the first name basis. That was thanks to Naruto, who wouldn't have it any other way. "Unless, you call him teme of course." He had mock-conceded to their reluctance amusedly, with that stupid signature grin he uses when he thought the joke was funny. "It is about time that someone else would call him that. Otherwise though… No." Because addressing someone with cognomens, Naruto believed, makes people feel old. (Which is, as he said, apparently the reason why Tsunade doesn't have one)

In hindsight, you would think that in those few times they met up (meaningfully, Sasuke likes to think), fate seems very much in favor of their eventual union as a happily-ever-after couple. I let you in on a secret though. With Naruto forcefully always taking Sasuke with him in Ichiraku and the mischievous blonde knowing full well that Hinata would be invariably in where he, himself was (she's quite the closet stalker and contrary to popular belief, Naruto knew), it's pretty much obvious whose crafty hands did the fateful matchmaking. Yeah, he's that sneaky. And by the way, if that glaring evidence is not yet enough, one should take note how Naruto always magically vanishes in the wake a puff of smoke and ramen steam whenever Sasuke and Hinata got engrossed into one of their "talks". Or did I mention that already?

It did them well though.

At least as Sasuke would readily think.

By the third week (and the fourth "chance" lunch together) , he is already comfortable enough with sharing the barrage of useless trivia he has in his arsenal to her very much curious self that he had easily confided to her about the roadblock he was facing at the time in his studies.

The ancient Renaissance cryptogram he was trying to decode is already a tricky thing to crack, what with all those hieroglyphs and calligraphy that are long since obsolete and had been rendered forgotten in time of modernization. Seemingly incoherent symbols had clustered around the brown antique parcel, most of which being considered by the dissection in Itachi's critically-acclaimed thesis/book as only that just of a diversion and necessary additions in order for his acrostic cipher to work. However, what Sasuke is driving at in his goal is to disprove that and thus exceed the revered genius Uchiha himself. That the acrostic cipher is only the beginning. And the rest of the disregarded symbols are not as unimportant as Itachi had neglectfully cited them to be. And after two years of sleuthing around references, Sasuke knew he was right! Although with what he had unearthed so far, he wasn't sure whether he really was satisfied.

For one thing, it only gave him a more intricate riddle to solve.

Truth be told, he didn't think that she could solve it but somehow… she did.

That was when he should have known that he really was in love with this amazing woman.

"'Who cuckolded Moses?'?" she drawled incredulously, eyes wide as she prompted for him to confirm whether she heard things wrong. And whether her father was right for telling her every time she was being sub-par that she was really in desperate need of a hearing aid. To which Sasuke only shrugged ruefully, expecting that kind of reaction. Because seriously! Who cuckolded Moses?

He himself couldn't believe it, when he read that on his findings.

"The exact question is actually 'Who gave Moses the horns?'" he elucidated helpfully, feeling like she kind of deserved it when she didn't laugh at him for the supposed conundrum. Itachi did after all. Because, again seriously: Who cuckolded Moses? What's next? The Musgrave Ritual? "As early as the Medieval times, horns are already used as euphemisms for the cuckolded ones, originating from the Ram who supposedly is a symbol for Philandering." He sighed, himself pretty unconvinced by the inferred reasoning. But then again, few things could ever be logical in cultural history so that could be easily forgiven. Say, how is it even logical for people to think that a scapegoat could bear the sins of an entire village? Or that burning Pagans for their ignorance makes them a saint? Tch. Stupid Homo Sapiens. "I am only taking the liberty on applying the metaphor though because that could be it." Sasuke continues, with another deep long-suffering sigh. "But I don't necessarily.. er have a good feeling about it."

Because seriously: Who cuckolded Moses?

"Hm." Hinata mutters thoughtfully in response, brows furrowed, much to Sasuke's inner relief. So she really was the thinking girl type who would choose Hunger Games over Twilight. Phew. "So someone cheated on Moses then?" she prompted, seeming fascinated by the idea that the Bible could be adapted into a mistress porn movie.

Sasuke inwardly rolled his eyes. Geez… All girls really are the same… They really like drama do they? So Hinata is no exception? Sasuke disappointedly scratched his head, remembering the incident when a younger, more fangirlish Sakura mentioned that her all-time favorite Bible story is that one where Potiphar's wife is asking Joseph to have sex with her. Back then she had been the slutty type who would jump on anybody who had a functioning dick so it only probably reflected. Amazing how preference tells you a lot. Hinata seems to be very much interested about philandering husbands and wanton concubines. Past family experience? She is probably one of those who have divorced parents and broken family sob stories, he surmised.

"Hn." He huffed in monotone, deeply frowning in contemplation to the words. Her own indirect inflection of the more vulgar riddle: Who cuckolded Moses? (He still couldn't believe how it sounded so funny. In retrospect, that should have been a major clue all along but being more of the complicated type, he opted to disregard it).

So the Gods made sure she was the one who would choose to point that out. "I don't know but that riddle really sounds funny."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, feeling offended despite thinking as well that it was indeed funny in a strange way. At least though, she still retained some courtesy not to laugh that off on his shamed face, as Itachi mockingly did to his "foolish little brother". "Hn. How so?" he asked in rhetorical wonder, not really expecting any stimulating answer.

He judged too early. Hinata had her chin on her palm, her pose that of a regally thinking intellectual. Brows creased. Eyes listless. Lips curling. The premature veins popping at the corner of her pale eyes gave her a more assertive look that made Sasuke somehow believe she was trying to see through the question that may have been floating in brilliant letters before her mind's eye, dissecting each word. Sasuke found himself waiting expectantly.

When she spoke again, she sounded confused. "My father made me read the Christian Bible at an early age so I know for a fact that Moses' wife's name is Zipporah." She began with confidence, a rather rare thing to hear from her. Sasuke is glad that he chose to have her privy of his own confusions as this is now apparently a very much familiar territory for her. "But I don't see how a presumption of any adulterous affair from her side connects with the answer to your riddle. Especially since such things are only a matter of hearsay. " She sighed and had the Ichiraku Ramen cheap stools had had comfy backrests, she easily would have lethargically leaned back. "I mean… girls.. er, women in general, are never important in that era back then. Or regarded highly for that matter. That is especially true in the Renaissance time when your cryptogram is assumed to be crafted. Hmm… it's just that I don't think it makes sense for the author to really include anything remotely referring about a cheating woman when such a thing— if it indeed happened— have occurred. If you get what I am saying. I mean, adultery is already an outrageous thing back then that if such a thing really transpired, it could easily be popular knowledge."

"Hn…" Sasuke made a sound of approval, nodding sagely at her spot-on observation. He himself had thought along those lines. And finally, someone agreed! "I am thinking of reversing the question actually. It could be a trick. Moses might be implied to be the one who cheated on his wife."

She cocked her head to the side, elegant tresses of dark, blue hair swaying slightly at the motion. "I am thinking of the same thing too." She remarked, drumming manicured fingers on the counter as she shoved her now forgotten ramen bowl with the other hand. Hypnotized, Sasuke unconsciously mimicked the movements. "I think I remember reading it somewhere where Mariam and Aaron is speaking ill against Moses' 'Ethiopian Wife'. So maybe that's it? By taking a second wife, Moses essentially cheated on the first? Hmmm…" She didn't sound at all convinced. "I know well it's true that taking concubines is regarded cheating as well. But that is only today's mentality. Back then, I think the act is called polygamy and it's basically legal. So it's not essentially cheating, right?."

Twiddling her fingers over her interlaced hands, she then uncharacteristically scowled to herself, obviously unsatisfied by the trail her thoughts were going.

But Sasuke was nevertheless still taken aback. "You really do know your way around the Bible don't you?" he drawled with an admittedly impressed air, amazed that she could effortlessly recite all these obscured through memory when it took him several sleepless nights poring over seven copies of the Bible just to find such things out.

"John Maxwell is a Christian." She said, smiling softly, looking more enthusiastic however than was initially possible possible. Eyes shining. Palms clasping together. Seldom had Sasuke encountered such too-good-to-be-true people, who shared the same passion as he and could actually keep up with a good conversation or two. "It is a good moral read for those who have their lives shaken off the track but if I have to be honest, I am sometimes inclined to believe that it's only an exceptionally great work of fiction. Or ano… that it shouldn't be taken literally that is."

Then suddenly her face darkened.

"Literally." She murmured, sounding surprised with herself. Furrowed brows panned its way on her flawless features, marring her countenance beautifully with an intelligent look he no longer could see for himself pertaining the female race. Regarding her with her wide, white eyes, Hinata seemed to be on a verge of revealing something before inconveniently falling back into an eerie quietude with her staring off at a distance like for a moment she had her soul snatched into the realms of the unreachable.

Sasuke waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Impatient as the girl continued to space out languidly over something he had not any idea about, Sasuke demandingly prompted. "Now, what?"

Hinata looked up abruptly as if jerked into reality, eyes wide in what seemed like realization. Her face was beaming, probably looking like how Archimedes did when the Mathematician ran barenaked around the Grecian streets screaming "Eureka!" She excitedly took his hands in hers, trembling in anticipation to her own words as Sasuke only regarded her warily.

Naruto was right. She really was quite weird wasn't she?

"Maybe that's the point." She muttered breathlessly, looking dumbly dazed in some unfounded amazement that was yet to be shed light upon, due to her nebulous hysteria. Sasuke stared, dumbstruck as she continued to ponder through some epiphany she probably found brilliant.

And so he waited.

Waited.

And waited.

When it was clear that she wasn't about to make things clear without being knocked off from daydream land, Sasuke rudely broke from her hold and reminded her that now was indeed the time to blush because of her mindless intimate actions to practically a stranger.

It worked!

Hinata was blushing furiously when she finally decided to explain things to him. "I think we should use reverse psychology to tackle this one Sasuke-san."

We? How presumptuous of her. "I was already doing that—"

"By taking things literally." She said firmly, looking mildly stern for being interrupted. Sasuke chose to listen this time and eerily like a child who had her suspicions about the moon being made of cheese confirmed, she smiled brightly at his agreeable response. "I mean we are always told in riddles not to take things literally and think deeper than what the words denotatively depict. But what if this cryptogram is merely a trick question indeed that was made to make us go on a meaningless, roundabout trail? What if it was devised so that it would take us into things such as reading the Bible when the answer is an easy one all along? It's reverse psychology. And we all know that got really popular during the Renaissance time."

Typical Hinata. Giving herself the lesser credit. Of course, not everyone knew that. Duh.

Now that he thought about it, it made sense. Reverse psychology. Why the hell hadn't he thought of that? Such guesswork was no mean feat. He found himself grinning at her ecstatically, despite promising himself in the inside numerous death sentences for being negligent. "Hm. So who do you think gave Moses the horns?" Again, he meant that as a smug rhetorical question.

But she had a knack of surprising him, as she quickly answered him.

"I know." She stood up with a start, taking his wrist with her firm fist and pulled him towards her as she beckoned for him to rise as well. She was smiling. And to Sasuke, somehow, she looked all the more radiant every passing second. "Let's go to the library."

That day was the very the first time Uchiha Sasuke let a girl drag him away.

.

,

She showed him an illustration of Michaelangelo's Moses, like that was more than enough.

And Sasuke slapped himself for his stupidity. How could he have not guessed?

For prominently protruding from the elegant marble statue's head were two distinct horns.

.

.

Present Time

,

"Turns out those horns came from a mistranslation in the Bible." He reminds her of the significant memory, face casting a vaguely reminiscent look as he gives his long-distance girlfriend of two years a grateful, appreciative smile. Something that he could now effortlessly pull off in her presence, a feat all by itself. "Vulgate was back then the most widely-used Latin translation of the Bible. Written by Jerome, it seems like he did make some linguistical error in translating the really difficult ancient Hebrew text by making the term for 'rays of light' surrounding Moses' head in Mount Sinai be interpreted into 'horns'. It later materialized itself on Michaelangelo's sculpture. Rather controversially, I recall." He chuckles a bit, remembering his own needless dilemma about Moses' wives when it only turned out that the poor women weren't even part of the simple equation. Very far from it, in fact for in a retrospective standpoint, the riddle leaned more on a etymological aspect rather than the historical. "So I guess, you are right. If I did take things more literally, I would have easily found out that it was Jerome all this time who gave Moses the horns."

"Ano… I actually thought the answer was Michaelangelo." She comments sheepishly with an embarrassed smile, looking down with a shy blink as she absentmindedly scratches her dark head. "I remember seeing that statue back in my visit in Rome when I was younger. And I did wonder as well why he seemed rather demonic to me. So when you said something about Moses having horns, I sort of had a flashback about the statue and that led me dragging you into the library. I was really proud of my answer. But who can blame me? I wouldn't really know that the cryptogram was made years before Michaelangelo himself was born."

Good-naturedly, he chortles at her cute pout, taking note of the fact that Hinata considers the fateful event itself as one of her greatest achievements. It had been his too. Aside from noticing more of her awesomeness that day and thereby possibly making the concept of unconditional romantic love far easier for him to grasp, the solution to the problem had made way to more problems that Hinata helped solve too. Working together with his then future-girlfriend had been a very much rewarding endeavor since then and although still technically, an undergraduate, he was already commissioned in a lot more seminary speeches than his brother had ever been since the publication of his thesis. His popularity skyrocketed quickly and finally, he recognized that as a good thing. Definitely nothing compared to being just a so-called heartthrob.

Hinata was already in America by the time he had managed to get into his head that he wasn't alone in the success though. That, if anything, she deserved the authorship for his thesis as much as he did. Six months later, he had worked the courage to casually ask her out through Skype. A sort of arrangement that once she comes back, he expects them to be a thing already. It was unconventional. Technically, unofficial even. But over the past two years Sasuke had proven to be serious enough in his wooing her that even the once skeptical-over-any-kind-of-relationship Hinata was thoroughly made convinced of his sincerity. And so the pretty law student, as confused as she was at first by his sudden attraction with her, only managed to learn to accept his love over timeless conversations about what they like best.

So it is quite clear, that she had been the last one to say that she likes the other too.

Sasuke doesn't mind though.

At least theirs became a requited romance.

"I don't think it's a good idea, if you ask me. Seeing other girls at the side when we are together. " He says with conviction when the silence persisted as the unspoken question of why their joint walk together in memory lane has something to do with their bothering libido, surfaces heavily overhead. Sasuke steeples his fingers in thought, closing his eyes. He always is the one who says those magical three words first while waiting for Hinata to respond with what he knows is but a halfhearted return of affection but that, now is hardly a thing he should be ruminating about. He wants her. And all be damned if merely the wide expanse of the ocean is the only thing that will ever hinder him from that.

Agostino Caracci said so himself. Love conquers all.

Such unbearable cheesiness, he could tell. But even an archaic, overused, cliché does ring applicably true in what they can call their romance. Sasuke and Hinata. They had endured for two years after all. Surely, two more (should the world hate him enough for that), is something manageable.

Yeah, you can really see that with all his prior goals accomplished, Sasuke can be ironically a bit of a lovestruck idiot with some unerring patience as a virtue.

"I'm not a Renaissance man. Far from it. So you should see that I'm not really a big fan of polygamy." He continues with indignance, still a bit bruised to what she thought he should do once he meets the incapability (like it's an inevitability in itself) that he can no longer keeps his hands on himself. "To me it's not a forgivable offence." A meaningful look. "Because it's essentially cheating. And I'm better than that. Uchiha men are loyal." Reverse psychology. Sasuke knows from firsthand experience with Hinata that it works a lot.

"I love you, yes. You can ask me why. But I know it's just it. A given." He sighs heavily upon saying all these, leaning back on his swivel chair with a laidback attitude that shouldn't betray the turmoil of emotions that is on riot inside his guts. "So please don't speak of our relationship like I don't."

Skype chooses that moment to be a slowpoke.

When the image returns to its former downloading speed, things have gotten even more awkward than before between the couple.

This is not the type of mushy-feelings-inducing talk they are used to having.

"I love you too." She answers softly nonetheless, biting her lower lip in a very distracting way that made the suddenly growing bulge in Sasuke's pants an anticlimactic addition to their angst. Because seriously, who the hell gets turned on when you are already on the verge of breaking up? "But sometimes I believe I shouldn't. That it isn't enough. I feel… insufficient. I love because you love me. You know that, Sasuke-kun." To which he only numbly nods in confirmation, blatantly ignoring the severe inflection that he is indeed, the proverbial sixty percent in their relationship. "Which is why sometimes I think that I am not what you need."

Wow. This angst is pretty much getting out of hand.

"Hm. Well it's good enough for me then." He snaps, looking at her with a vicious glare. Hinata fidgets apprehensively on her seat. Sasuke forces his face to soften. In vain. But his next words do the trick anyway. "My brother once told me that love is when you can imagine yourself with that special person ten years from now. He's an overly romanticized man who only relies for love advice through stupid novels and his lack of experience but he means well. And meeting you made me believe it." He smiles then and this time, it is not as creepy as when he is undressing her off with his lecherous dark eyes. This one… This one… This one seems to be only reserved for someone who is more than just an… internet fling. "I didn't draw a blank for once. Imagining us together is easy. Because we talk. Because you make me smarter than I am. Because you are really beautiful. And because—"

"…because I m-make you horny for a change?" she finishes for him bravely.

"—because I really do love you." He blurts out with emphasis, not wanting to admit that her supplication is accurate as well. But his profuse blushing is saying enough.

Silence.

Hinata looks astounded. Ohhhh. A spontaneous confession!

Sasuke appears embarrassed as hell for being so sappy to be able to say those things.

This is really, really, majorly getting more awkward now that they could just stop.

Heavy breathing. Even the air is suffocating! And they aren't even supposed to be sharing it!

Before Hinata, amidst this entire corniness overload in the air and determination to just change the topic, manages to whisper with a very much noticeable panting of breathe. (She also has a bit of tear stains around her eyes. Wow, so much drama.) "I think." She drawls, seeming abashed by her impending suggestion. With a good reason. Considering what it is. "T-That maybe it's better for our mental health if we should just have s-sex."

Surprised, Sasuke gasps.

Finally! Sasuke rejoices.

Excited, Sasuke trembles in anticipation.

Who knew that reminding her of Moses having horns would lead to this?

He is being the biggest hypocrite, he knows but still, amidst the really hot room and before his irresistibly fuckable girlfriend, Sasuke still finds himself agreeing. "Yes." He sighs out, finally opting to tell the more imminent truth. That he didn't like the feel of being fully clothed around her anymore. And that really, they should do the deed already. As soon as possible. "Let's."

He is indeed, by reputation, quite a subtle manipulator.

.

.

The Next Day

.

.

"I'm going to be back home during Spring Break." She informs him in excitement, this time her words laced with definite certainty that makes him think that her father, after two and a half years of thinking it would be a waste of money (even though the old fart is just damn, filthy rich), had finally bought her a plane ticket for Japan. For the first time in his life, Sasuke does the happy dance. Inwardly of course. He still has some dignity left!

And besides, jumping up and down all over his dormitory is hardly arousing. He is supposed to look extra hot during these times with Hinata, not some creep who thinks tap dancing is in for a macho ride.

But Spring Break is like, only a month away!

"For real?" He tries desperately not to sound too excited. I mean, his groin (which speaks enough for itself already) is pretty far from his vocal chords so he should be able to do this right. Instead though, he ended up teetering his need for confirmation like a giddy child who was recently told about the tale of Santa. Eager. Excited. Definitely on fire. Sasuke rubs his hands together, in a futile way to calm his beating heart. "You really are coming home?"

"I am." She smilingly affirms with her face red for a reason that is not so unfathomable now that Sasuke knows for himself that his girlfriend pretty much has her mind on the gutter. For like the whole time they are talking. If the Gods choose to reveal that she actually is a smut fanfiction author in some obscured fandom, Sasuke realizes that he hardly shall be surprised. "That's because I believe I owe you a lot." She adds.

And that's when she gives him a very much suggestive wink.

Had he been a lesser man, Sasuke could have fainted right there and then.

.

.

.

Naruto understands fully well how the International Dateline works. Such a phenomenon is pretty much child's play after all, with him learning as early as his first episode of Doraemon that Americans celebrate their New Year ten hours later than the Japanese do. That they wake up in Japan's picturesque sunset. That they say 'good morning' when it's midnight. Or something to that effect since he's just quoting a song he can't even begin to comprehend. But what Uzumaki Naruto doesn't really get is why the normally stoic, unemotional, ice-cold-fish-in-a-white-plate, basically-an-automaton, calculating-machine Uchiha Sasuke didn't even try to consider the inconveniences given when he chose to have a really hot phone sex with his girlfriend-from-America. In the middle of the fucking night, no less!

I mean, sure, Naruto knows that Hinata is still wide awake with it being early noon in her place and all. And could perfectly well sympathize in her predicament should she have a bit of a jetlag in their communication. But normally, the innocent, thoughtful, perceptive and practically-all-things-nice, Hyuuga Hinata is nowhere that dense not to realize that Sasuke has roommates who need a few hours of shuteye too and that loud moans of ecstasy or a creaking bedspring is not exactly their idea of a tranquilizing lullaby.

As it is, in fact more akin to a very disturbing nightmare. It's the Booooogeeeeymaaaan.

Well, he does certainly sound like some monstrous fiend during masturbation.

Like this: "Nngghhh.. Hinata…" Sasuke would groan, breathing so labored that it hardly left anything to the imagination. Naruto could guess exactly where his hands are at this moment. And what they are doing. Pump. Pull. Push. The magical three Ps of fucking yourself. And perhaps with a little touch of lubrication, everything would be perfect enough for the wild imagination to do its wonders. Sasuke would give an experimental tug to his prick and after noticing how it feels so good, there commences even more desperate yanks. Stretching out with at first a slow and reasonable rhythm. Until things get too hot as little Sasuke becomes a real man's big, hard dick pointing proudly to the world, beaming an angry flushed red. He would start yanking it away fiercely then and would eventually learn to love each tug. Naruto knows. He's been there a lot of times already.

The sound of skin slapping would then be followed by successive ejaculations of curses, as a string of colorful words make its crossing in the Uchiha's most-likely agape mouth. "Shit… Dammit… Fuck… Crap…" And sometimes even: "Hinata!" Which is really weird. How Sasuke manages to make such a nice name sound like a swearword is beyond him. Without a doubt, at this moment, Sasuke is having fun poking his wet fingers in his entrance as the stroking in his own cock gets more persistent. Meanwhile trying to get on with the thought of having himself be given a really, really hot blowjob.

From the really hot Hinata.

Naruto groans, reaching for his own manhood. God, this is so much.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard…" he hears Sasuke murmur amidst the squeaking of the bedsprings. Good thing and Sai is nowhere to be seen (where is that fucktard anyway?) or else this would be more scandalous than it already is. Naruto muffles his own sounds of arousal with his pillow, not believing how he was imagining the three of them having a threesome now. "You hear that Hinata?" Sasuke resumes the dirty talk, most likely as he begins thrusting again in his own encircled fingers. He probably hadn't discovered pillow humping yet. "I'm going to shove my big, hard cock in your wet, warm pussy the moment I see you. And we're going to have real hot sex in my room! Ugh." Sasuke pauses as he listens for what to Naruto sounds like a murmur of static from the other side, the hiss that could actually mean anything making this erotic night even more poignant. "Don't be shy Hinata-ah… Hmm… Yeah… Moan like that for me… Un… Shit… So perfect… Ugh."

Wow, Naruto compromises with some amazement, eyes closed. Sasuke really doesn't know how to do it right, doesn't he? (Because, isn't he supposed to be the one with a wider range of vocabulary. He should do better than that! He should have been more descriptive dammit! It's like hearing a very bad porn being read aloud.). But nevertheless, the blonde-haired man grabs the pillow from his head. Pulls down his pants as quietly as he could. Bends forward to ready his arousal. And sandwiches the fluffy thing on his hard-on, humping on it with the fervor he inevitably has whenever he's with Sakura. It helps that the pillow is pink as well. Yeah, as Sai says, sooo gay. But hey, he isn't the one who shows off his pale torso for anyone to lick, right?

Pretty soon, he is cumming already. "Sakura!" he screams as he releases himself into the old pillow and immediately sinks into his bed with utter fulfillment.

Crickets croaking. Definitely eerier than silence itself.

It is Sasuke who pokes his head down towards him, his scowl very visible despite the poor fluorescence as he mutters the word: "Copycat."

"Hey." Naruto deadpans in response, glaring weakly at the obviously annoyed dark-haired man, whose face is bathed by the lighting of his phone, apparently not finished with Hinata just yet. Naruto smirks, pitying the poor girl who is stuck trying to get turned on by an inexperienced virgin. "At least now I understand why you try." He amends, grinning widely. "Now go and finish what you have to. Some people need their sleep you know."

Sasuke's head retracts and the drill once again begins…

And didn't finish until dawn.

With…

"Hinata!"

"Shit!"

"I'm so close!"

"Here it is I'm coming!"

"Once you come back—"

Needless to say, neither of the two got any sleep that night.

.

.

Naruto has eyebags, red eyes, basically an unhealthy insomniac look when Sai comes back to their dorm the next morning.

He smirks upon setting his eyes on the disheveled blond. Sasuke is at contentedly sipping on his coffee, busying himself with the phone in the meantime. "Got a nightmare, dickless?" the pale man asks, looking smug at Naruto's growing scowl and Sasuke's apparent nonchalance.

The blonde growls ferociously, getting exactly what he meant with the innuendo. He hates it whenever the artist is right.

Yes, he just had a fucking nightmare. Like literally.

It didn't help at all that Sasuke is happily whistling all throughout the morning.

**(TBC)**

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**I am having pretty good traffic with this story but not much reviews these days. But nevertheless, your encouraging comments keep me going on. I love reviews so whenever I receive one, I write the next chapter as soon as I can because with me being free from school and part-time job only taking six hours a day, I do have a lot of time to spare. But I tend to slack off when there is no feedback to be received in the meantime so I hope I'd reach the 30 mark this time so I can get things rolling. **

**This chapter is particularly hard to write (and not only because it's super long). Took me some time actually. Somehow, the characters seem to be having a life of their own and I as their irresponsible authoress is just letting them. Lol. Not much laughs in this installment but I'm pretty sure the next will be worth this interlude. But please tell me if you find this chapter rather sub-par. I'd like to expand my room for improvement. And tell me if you find any factual errors. I'm very willing to learn a thing or two. And wait…. Hinata's coming back? :DDD**

**By the way, did the present tense writing style bother you in any way? It's a pretty hard style to keep up with but I like it as it seems to be the more convenient one to use with how I am planning the story out. I am not a Native speaker either so my grasp in the language may not be really good. Please forgive me for that. **

**Please review and tell me what you think! **

**And oh, should I label this from now on as a sort of crackish fic?**


	4. Epic Fails

04

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.

Hinata's return to Konoha should mark the end of Sasuke's days of virginity, baptizing him so to speak with those lovely juices that he would make sure she would generously release for him during the high time of their, so to speak, Springtime of Youth. He was supposed to ravish her the moment she would set foot in the real land of the rising sun (it fits her name) and make her scream his name…. come for him… such things all those Icha Icha heroes put in their mental to-do list once they were getting on with some trope-ish, innocent woman they decided they love. But as it had chosen to always be after having him and Hinata meet, fate is once more against such notion. At least for the time being. Such a cockblocker. This time, Sasuke can understand why the Neji guy seems to detest it so much.

For one, Hinata and him are cousins. And crushing on her as the long-haired freakish man clearly does only screams unsightly, unimaginable, really weird incest. So for the moment Tenten should suffice for his far from innocent fantasies, eh?

Hn. On the much brighter side though, thank the matchmakers of heaven for preferring Sasuke as the much, much luckier guy. Because come on, we all know that SasuHna is just uber perfect.

Anyways…

Unfortunately however for his own impatient "little man", the snobbish Hyuuga clan had just decided to be traditional so as to demand Hinata to stay in the Hyuuga prefecture (stupid white eyed bastards have their own village apparently) in the entire duration of her temporary stay. Which is but a month! The fuck?

Not only that but she was also set to go there first and linger a while for the week preceding her younger sister's graduation before doing exactly what dutiful girlfriends should do for long distance, awaiting boyfriends. That is, taking the train towards Konoha and having hardcore fuck with the faithfully waiting man in question while whispering sweet nothings about how they missed each other and whatnot. And yet, there was nothing else he could do. What is he but a lowly peasant? (Nevermind that he is the heir to practically the Louvre itself. The Hyuugas would still consider him trash. But that, wouldn't stop him from getting the girl at any rate. Hn.)

So, albeit reluctantly, Sasuke agrees that they would only see each other the moment Hiashi would relent into releasing the leash he has tied around her. And meanwhile try not to cry a bucket of tears just because his baptismal as a real man had to be delayed for a week.

And the fact that majority of Hinata's three-month vacation would be mostly spent attending boring dinner parties with equally dumb middle-aged suitors instead of being locked in Sasuke's bedroom. Thrusting, panting, moaning, grunting, er, ejaculating…. Well, you get the idea. So in essence they had like, only the weekends on their own. But even waiting for the days to come by would exponentially be better than Skyping indeed. So however is he unsatisfied with the worth of his two-year wait (and the sappy moment from last chapter, thank you very much), there is nothing much he could do in the meantime but make things in turn worthy for Hinata. (Because as the huge Scrooge she had for a father would graciously inform you, yes, the money for her homecoming came straight from her pockets).

All of this, she forewarns now, one month away from the fatefully inevitable day of Sasuke's debut as a real man.

"But I really promise I would be there in Konoha as soon as I can." Which, had Sasuke been mistrustful, should be anytime during next year. But he did say he loves her. And it is true. So he is all but inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt. "Hanabi should manage to convince Father that I would need the Hokage archives in there in order to complete my term paper. So I could be certain that I would be there real soon Sasuke…" That you don't even have the time to fret whether I have been officially betrothed to some old perverted man, is the unspoken reassurance in her words. Her eyes speak enough.

"Hn." he dismisses the scary lolicon thought as he rejoices on how she might be referring to making him forget such distasteful prospects through ways sneakier than they attribute to her. Shutting him up with a hot make out session perhaps? Or rendering him amnesiac of his own identity through some steamy foreplay? Or maybe—this is far the best!—he would be too hoarse to complain because she made him scream too much in her giving him a head-on fellatio!

Dear Lord!

"So your stingy Dad still doesn't know about us then? Hn… Should have expected it." He tackles the sore topic bluntly. Sasuke knows well that the Hyuuga and the Uchiha clans are never in the best of terms, spending their leisure time biting off each other's heads while pretending they could stand being at the same room with the other. (Although Sasuke is pretty sure he could spend the rest of his life in the same bed as Hinata but that is beside the point) In their two years of relationship, Hinata and him never really had talked about anything that might ruin their commitment, however it may be the illogical to liken them to the tragic Romeo and Juliet story. They are standing in a pretty precarious marshland for being long distance and all that is, to bother about anything else that might as well deepen the hole they have dug under themselves when each proclaimed that they are more than just a fling.

"I am planning to introduce you to him actually." Hinata assuages with determination though, smiling softly at him while fiddling with her dainty fingers. She looks elated. "I think, it's about time."

"Hn. Good." He agrees wholeheartedly, appreciating her consideration of their pretty much rocky-already-relationship-that-somehow-continues-to-persist. The fact that she is as serious to him as he is with her. "When?"

"I'm thinking about it." Hinata replies, while glancing somewhere below her screen. Her eyes comically widen. Sasuke, upon realizing that it already midnight in Japan roughly means it's already time for her first period in America. Flustered Hinata starts to get ready shamelessly. In front of him!

This is easily the best rushing-to-school-in-five-minutes in his life! (And that includes chewing tomatoes as an instant breakfast back when he still lived with his parents. And having no morning wood to worry about for once.).

Sasuke bids her goodbye.

Hinata reminds him to have fun.

.

.

So here he is, at Suigetsu's pool party. Trying to have fun.

He sits languidly at the edge of the pool, feet swinging listlessly on the cold, bleached water as he resentfully glares at the overload camaraderie occurring right before his eyes. Yes. In the sense of the word that you could easily figure out that there are couples dry humping on the floor, faggots making out at the corner, missing twosomes that only hinted about some blowjob session being held in the bathrooms and even the pathetic sight of unappealing men who were only stuck masturbating without care in front of heavily inebriated girls. In other words, everything around here only makes him want to go back to his quiet dorm and get it on again with his girlfriend like they did the other night. Man, that was hot! But unfortunately, he was stuck here in the meantime while Hinata chooses (this time with a forewarning at the very least. "Ano. I'm going to be really busy this week. Hope you don't mind." ) not to go online for seven days once more… Which as a good, dutiful boyfriend, he is meant to understand. But sometimes, things are made more unbearable…

… While hellishly enduring the company of one fraud-faced artist who somehow thought Sasuke needed him breathing on his neck at this crucial time of his long-suffering libido…

"So the princess is finally coming back, eh?" Sai's voice happily inquires from his side, smiling that creepy grin of his that only looked more and more conspiratorial the more you get to know how much the guy stalks his subject of interest first before painting them. In other words, he smiles like a fucking lunatic! And he probably even knows that much to be able to pull it off in that infinitely irritating way of his. His thin lips are rigid, uncaring and cold as he purses it to further his point but his eyes are blissfully closed by forced joviality, making you wonder whether the rumors really hold truth about him being Jekyll and Hyde at literally the same time. "So hmmm… you do have your birthday suit ready or something for the big day, don't you? You're just about to lose your virginity Sasuke. Are you ready? Are you ready to face the new life as a real man? Is Hinata? Will Hinata love it? I once read that—"

"You're kidding," The Uchiha mutters back distastefully, interrupting the pointless tirade of sexually philosophical questions and casting the Picasso-wannabe a withering look that made him seem like he is hoping that some magical black unconquerable flames would incinerate him for seven days and seven nights. Anything to stop him from quoting yet another book just to make him seem more emphatic when he obviously is far from it. But even such dismissal from him comes only as a weak resolve at the wake of Sai's pondering. Because face it, he should be thinking about it right now right? "... right?" he murmurs back in uncertainty.

"No. I am not." The man responds in turn, infuriatingly undeterred (if that persisting smile that should have nothing to do with the Uchiha's killing intent is evidence enough.). His feet underwater create ripples around the both of them, each oscillation in the waves overlapping to create a beauty that could only be seen through a real artist's eye. Sai is momentarily absorbed with which before straightening himself up as he slowly responds, but not without the fake enthusiasm that could even rival Naruto's real deal zealousness. The artist, much to Sasuke's dismay is not one to be easily consumed by any form of distraction for long. "I just like reading so much." The man elaborates, swinging his feet on the surface of the pool. "It helps you learn a lot of things, you know. Like why the sky is blue. Why Konoha had that swirly symbol. Why the Hokage Mountain was modeled after Mount Rushmore. Things like that. And oh, did I mention how I finally realized the value of Kakashi's mask after reading Icha Icha for myself? I tell you Sasuke, reading helps a lot."

Teeth gnashing. The raven-haired boy finds it too undignified to roll his eyes to show his lack of appreciation with the other's presence. "Hell if that has anything to do with me…" he grits out, hands outstretched absentmindedly behind him like he couldn't care less whether Kakashi perpetually had drool stains around his mouth. Or something to that effect. "Now listen, you little—"

"And also." The stupid homo with the exposed bellybutton sings gleefully, intentionally interjecting what may have been Sasuke's glowering warning about chopped up corpses or mutilated paintings with a nonchalance so forged Sakura would easily find it in instinct to pummel him right there and then for his "insincerity". Sai winces at the thought of the pink-haired Amazon, thanking the Gods that Sasuke is far easier to brainwash around. And the guy to his credit, is more levelheaded than the other two of his friends. He certainly is the best listener among the three people he is unfortunately stuck with for the rest of his university life. The artist subtly sighs to himself, while maintaining his joyful, counterfeit (because even such practiced cordiality costs too)… smile.

"I read that the first time around should be the most special." Sai paraphrases thoughtfully, putting his forefinger in his pouting lips as he gives the other man beside him a most confused but nevertheless know-it-all look. If such an oxymoron actually makes sense. "And that cute, innocent, secretly sexy girls prefer theirs with real men with experience. Think of Christian Gray fucking Anastasia Steele and boom, a bestselling love story." An ominous look. In which Sai, for the first time since suddenly barging in everybody's already-cursed lives, shows the evil smirk he always had hidden amidst all the devious plots to make everybody's university life a living hell.

Despite himself, Sasuke shivers.

And he has the right to be duly apprehensive when casually, Sai proposes… " I believe Hinata-hime is better off having her first time be enjoyable for her standards if she has someone to guide her. You know, someone who actually had an idea how to do things and not just go around circling the vague scientific instruction of installing hardware to software. Or the birds and the bees…"

The not so considerate suggestion holds Sasuke by impulse, immediately prompting him to pull his fist clenched and ready. "And who better it be? You?" he guffaws with some cruel amusement, guessing already that Sai had always had this awful crush with his girlfriend long ago ever since he caught him sketching some provocative pictures of her in his stalker book. At the time, he had easily forgiven the forbidden, dangerous attraction in exchange for the very much high quality inspiration for his much-needed bathroom trips. But now…

Let's just say, his fist hadn't been yet introduced to Mr. Sai.

And his pair of boxing friends are very, very anxious to meet him.

"Why not? You girlfriend is hot!" The Kishimoto-fanatic exclaims with zeal, appearing blissfully oblivious that he had just officially sealed his fucking fate. No pun intended. Hm. Sasuke smirks evilly to himself. He made a joke! And here's another one: Let's see how "cocky" indeed Sai would be without his "hardware".

Ugh. Lame.

But applicable nevertheless, he compromises. Sasuke is about to commit murder on his doppelganger's sex life and leave the damage for the eternity the multiverse shall spend expanding (aka neutering for dogs, anyone?) when Sai chooses the precise moment to conveniently amend for his thoughtless rants. "But of course I am in no position for that." He says, shrugging ruefully and looking forlorn. "I read somewhere that nobody really likes it when their best friend bones their girl. I certainly wouldn't like it if you try Lee. Tch."

First and foremost, they are far from best friends.

And second note: OF ALL PEOPLE!

Sasuke is now very, very much scarred for life. "Lee?" he breathes out with some justified incredulity, stunned and horrified (and more or less, having the winning battle against screaming the revelation like Naruto would: OMG. YOU'RE GAY? He is way cooler for such randomly hysterical interjections after all.) Meanwhile making a mental note of reminding himself that his life isn't such a horror story. So play cool. But cool or not, he still can't resist gaping. The fuck?

And third: even if he were gay, he would never bend as low as to "try" Lee, thank you very much.

"Actually, I'm bisexual, leading towards nothing in particular. " Sai remarks in answer, reading the direction of the art historian's treacherous thoughts. Still with that unwavering smile. Like seriously. What makes this guy tick? Is it the fact that suckling another man's dick is what he deems more fulfilling for his own twisted search of the dream orgasm? (Or did he prefer being uke?) I mean, Sasuke can imagine why they say yaoi is the most kinkiest of all fandoms. But his own roommate actually practicing such acts under their noses? What the flying fuck? "And by the way…" Sai resumes, with an evil wink that nobody likes, even though how much he looks like Sasuke himself. "I'm secretly in love with Hinata too so I'm warning you. She might end up liking me more for my Situation Down Below." He blatantly gestures at hs crotch area. Sasuke winces. "I certainly am more experienced in giving women their pleasure."

"Dream on."

"Well, I usually—"

"Just. Shut. Up." Sasuke cuts off with finality, eyes closed in contemplation, inhaling as if to recompose himself from any impending murderous rampage. Seconds of breathe exercises that is thankfully nl of any paper bah necessity, the raven-haired Uchiha looks relatively calmer than he was back when they were talking about his nonexistent plans for the big day (he assumed he would just go with the flow. No romantic dinners or clichéd amusement part trips. Tch. Hinata would surely understand that he is nowhere near a five year old. Hn) . But apparently, having other men (even the gayest) falling head over heels his girlfriend somehow didn't really strike a chord as one annoying visual artist would have expected.

In fact, it only turned him on more.

Sasuke sighs dreamily. Hinata….

"Have read these all in Fifty Shades by the way." Sai adds, pretending to be deep in thought as he laughingly eyes the progressively growing bulge on the other's pants as discretely as he could. While smirking at the sight of a squealing Karin from the other side of the pool who obviously just had the same assessment as he had after teasing Sasuke into absolute sexual oblivion. An abandoned hobby he had picked up from Uzumaki Naruto, mind you who is too busy with his own active sex life with Ugly these days to bother about any others'.

This is beyond any teledrama quality! Indeed a very useful information to sell for Uchiha Sasuke 101 enthusiasts.

One, Karin, from his sightline clearly thinks that staring (stalking) at her apple-of-the-eye for the past hour had been exceedingly worth the general inaction. As well as the fogging of her glasses and the cramps she most likely got from staying seated on that gravel stone for too long. Two, Uchiha Sasuke looks really good when dazed into fantasizing about the sacred pornographic thoughts (that the red head is erroneously, deliriously imagining she is the main star of). And three—the most important trivia so far—he is really big DOWN THERE.

Sai smirks, appreciating the sight himself… So he definitely is nowhere like Dickless… Wow… His mouth slightly opens in amazement as the sickly-pale man continues to stare shamelessly in fascination at the perfect display of aesthetics before him… Perhaps he is really as beautiful as those figures in Boticelli paintings… Hmm… That's the something he would prefer not to miss by any means…

Until suddenly the sightseeing is ruined when Sasuke at the most inopportune moment, jumps down on the pool and submerges himself underwater for a considerable amount of time. Splash! All of those overflowing water shooting directly at the surprised artist's face. Only to resurface back up a few moments later, looking exponentially relieved from his tension a while ago but largely enervated at what he was forced to resort on.

Sai raises a highly bemused eyebrow at his roommate's drenched form as the man lifts himself up from the pool, approving very much of his cleverly innovative manner of improvisation.

Instant cold shower. His mouth curves into an audacious line. Hn. Very nice indeed.

.

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Breaking the fourth wall: The Sweet Life of Sasuke and Hinata

_(In which the authoress shall narrate the following epic fail moments of Sasuke&Hinata's cyber sex life over the past month. All of which Sasuke is too shy to tell so himself in his delicious, snarky, dark humor. And Hinata herself has all but ultimately disregarded as her preferably forgettable moments in her super hectic schedule…)_

…

.

… _because contrary to popular canonical perception, Hinata is a very, very whiny girl._

"But Sasuke-kun!" she protests, her hands making slapping sound on her provocatively crossed legs, bare breasts jiggling erotically as she tries to stifle the slight tremble that inevitably ensues during such scenes of confrontation. A royally frustrated look graces her pretty noble features, brows furrowed into what is close to a scowl of disapproval and her lips curled in defiance. Her hands are nowhere to be seen from his vantage point but he is sure they are doing their fidgeting somewhere that is in a reasonable distance from where he really demands them to be in the first place. Good thing she didn't try to cover up herself like she did the last time, definitely more comfortable now on showing her wonderfully mouth-watering tits to her giddy boyfriend. Hn. But if only…

"You just have to touch them for me Hinata…" said boy chivalrously attempts to say reassuringly, with barely concealed exasperation as he leans his shoulders further to her projected image. With squinting assertive eyes that only come off unsuccessfully as a belligerent glare. Hinata visibly flinches. Sasuke sighs. Stupid Skype that doesn't allow him to eat her just there and then! "Just put your hands there…. Yeah, that's it. Cup it with your fingers. Hmm… Right… Perfect. Not so hard now, isn't it?"

She may have partially submitted to his questionable whims but Hinata still doesn't get it. She looks on confusedly, hands splayed around her voluptuous proportions, her face flushed in absolute embarrassment. "But I still d-don't understand—"

"Now squeeze them."

She obediently does, brows still cocked sideways in mental wariness. A wave of discomfort passes through her system as she bravely put her hands on her breasts, squeezing as he harshly told her too.

"Hm.. Yeah… Now… Rub them…"

Her hands instinctively respond to the authoritative voice that reminds her so much of her Chichue's. Which is really weird since Hiashi never looked this… excited whenever he is in the dreaded mood being bossier than a Pharaoh. Inadvertently showing a nipple between her fingers in the process. Hinata blushes at Sasuke's intense slack-jawed stare as he watches said fingers brush sensually over her assets, his countenance drifting somewhere in between nirvana and the face you make when you are still torturously journeying towards it.

To say that simply: hell.

"Pinch…" He orders breathlessly, his seat suspiciously quaking now. This time, it is his own hands that decided that payback's a bitch as it chose to execute some vanishing act. But Hinata for your information, is not so naïve not to guess where their current location is. She did write about this sort of thing once. "Pull." He murmurs in a low voice, the underlying command not lost in the drastic decrease of decibels.

She grudgingly follows. He moans contentedly. But still she doesn't understand! Why does she have to do this when they could as well proceed to something much more productive for what they both need?

So he really… is a virgin isn't he?

The poor, poor guy.

Deciding to humor him for once after the momentous epiphany, Hinata decides to risk a step further as she daringly stutters out his name in a pleasurable abandon she admittedly never feels while touching herself- her ministrations getting more desperate each second that she wonders how he could possibly get turned on with the sight of her weakly abusing her nipples.

With her rather boring hand.

Maybe he has some sort of a breast fetish? Unsurprising.

"S-Sasuke." She mutters softly, eyes shut.

"Hinata!" He… screams.

The telltale sounds of his release rings ominously over the static of their crappy satellite reception, his harsh panting even more eerie than the whisper of crickets he once confessed to always creep the hell out of him at the worse times. Drained, Hinata watches as Sasuke slumps back to his seat, with him giving her a blissful smile.

They stare at each other for a long, awkward while.

Before Hinata finally speaks to break the freezing ice, mouth agape as she coughs. "Wow." She finally manages to breathe out, opal eyes wide in astonishment. Is it just Sasuke or does she sound a tad bit disappointed when she let that out? "Sasuke-kun r-really does g-get off f-fast, doesn't he?"

It's now Sasuke's turn to be rendered baffled.

Payback's a bitch.

It would only be after hearing Naruto boast about his great, coveted, much-lusted-after stamina in bed later that night that Sasuke would realize a thing or two about real man sex. Getting off fast is in fact, a very, very bad thing.

And what they have done so far wasn't even close to foreplay yet!

.

… _because when Hinata takes the initiative, something is bound to go wrong._

"I love bananas." She begins, grinning suggestively while showing him the yellow fruit she probably just bought from the convenience store a few doors away, being not one to spare a dime nor dignity to visit the flood of sex stores around the States. Hn. But t's still very commendable how she managed to find something that is very much titillating to anybody's more carnal, animalistic desires. Without fainting at the sexiness overload his girlfriend is intentionally bombarding him with, Sasuke minutely wonders where the hell this Dutch courage for the upcoming exhibitioning stemmed from. "Which is why…" She then peels the skin from the conspicuous-looking fruit slowly, her painstaking pace causing the Uchiha to lose control with the circulation of his blood, subconsciously certain that they have their own knowledge in any case to determine exactly where to go specifically in these situations.

He read that the harder you are, the more enduring and powerful you can be in being a real man. As much as that sounds like Sai, that's something he wants to prove to both himself and the lovely Hinata.

Although… Please, he compromises as he tries to hold into the sliver of Uchiha manliness he still has left after all these embarrassing horny moments over this suddenly dominatrix Hyuuga. Please. Ugh. No blood on his beautiful face!

But unfortunately, William Harvey really hates him.

Uchiha Sasuke… Welcome to the joys of blushing and nosebleed, hentai anime-style

"… I am eating this in front of you." She finishes happily, as she licks the tip of the tube-like food teasingly, tongue moving to and fro from the alluring space in between her lips. Oh God…

Monkeys really are the smartest creatures aren't they? They learn to love bananas long, long before humans come to their senses and realize a bit too late that a man's big, hard dick is the best thing to happen since the extinction of dinosaurs. And curious apes tiptoeing around the savannah.

Hinata opens her mouth widely as she makes a move to shove the whole five inch cock-facsimile inside…

And does nothing else afterwards.

"The fuck?" Sasuke curses in bafflement, his fingertips tracing desperately on the frozen image of his girlfriend about to give one of his ultimate fantasies something close to a physical embodiment. He shakes the computer monitor to life. Stomps his feet in frustration. Screams like a banshee for some help from some divine deity who would agree with him that this is not at all a funny joke. All for him in order to witness the lovely sight of his Hinata continuing on suckling that thing she is trying to imagine as his big, hard, angry man cock.

But much credit to his cursed luck, the internet is being extra crappy that night. Noooooo! Does this sort of things only ever happen to an Uchiha named Sasuke? Seriously? Long distance sexy girlfriend? Suffering from an excruciating OOC-inducing libido? Stupid too-tight pants? Gay and even worse now, sex God roommates? Hinata and her extraneous obstinacy? Bananas getting luckier than him? What more did he fucking need as daily dose of misfortune?

When the signal bars finally rose to the top seven hours later, she has already gone offline.

Hn. He exhales miserably. It seems like time is very much against them too.

.

.

… _and this is the best! Because Sasuke is indeed too much of a virgin._

"Maa. Maa. Sasuke." Hatake Kakashi. Literature teacher. Famous pervert. And the laziest drawler to have ever graced this equally accursed planet who imagines that facial masks are the new trend in today's fashion. Lewd and mysterious. Not entirely an appreciated combination. Four years of being stuck with him as their book report assigner (because, seriously what else does he do but tell them what books to read and have them evaluate them themselves?), has long since rendered even the most shallow of women immune to the silver-haired man's more unique charms. Most of the time, he only comes off some creepy otaku instead. Somehow, reticence to him has backfired so much that it makes him look less respectable than a talented man like him should inevitably be. Events today, it appears, has only made things worse to the already far from courteous Uchiha Sasuke and will comically make the latter, the poor laughingstock of the University for the whole week.

Indeed, it is freakishly apparent how Sasuke is always fated to put any of Naruto's antics into shame. Even in the most epic fails in the year. The cons of every friendly rivalry. Clashing teeth to appear as much as an idiot as your sworn enemy that is.

The English teacher's indifferent drone of useless historical facts going hugely unappreciated amidst a bunch of young people with horrible attention span is nothing new to him. In fact, he had long since lost the will long ago to care one way or another whether he would see the same student the next year and those that would follow. But this is something else. Uchiha Sasuke texting in class is already a conspicuous anomaly by itself. But the Uchiha Sasuke? Best student of the year? Most eligible bachelor? Talk, dark and handsome? Giggling? Yeah. You guessed it. Apparently, even the perpetually masked literature professor himself could never put those severely contradicting words in a single sentence. Because, come on, who could? Uchiha Sasuke giggling? God no. So apocalypse must be cooooomiiiiing. Help Madonna!

Bug-eyed. Grinning. Lips almost drooling in some form of anticipation. Shoulders hunched in concentration to whatever that is more interesting at the moment than even the abundance of factual errors to be found in Angels and Demons. Deft fingers busily composing something in his phone instead of taking notes to a topic Kakashi had been sure that the undergraduate art historian was looking forward to. And normally sharp ears zoning away even Kakashi's tone of warning. Even his once infallible peripheral vision fails him when the inquisitive stares his classmates are giving him goes ignored at the wake of the more imminent issue in his phone. Kakashi's eyebrows slowly rise together in a flabbergasted expression, thoroughly blown away.

Because, redundancy aside… seriously, Uchiha Sasuke giggling?

Terribly curious now, Kakashi makes the few steps upwards the corner steps of the lecture hall, his stride evenly intimidating as the resounding sounds of his deliberately heavy footfall echoing around the suddenly quiet room. Even Naruto did manage to shut up for the time being (and all he did the whole time prior was to snore the class schedule away), his aquamarine eyes wide as saucers as he batedly held his breath to what is coming. You can hear a pin drop. And you can certainly hear amidst the overwhelming quietude… the unsettling sound of Sasuke's ecstatic giggles.

Oh.

Considering that the naturally paranoid Sasuke should have noticed the lack of any ear-splitting distraction by now, he must have been really, really engrossed with what he is currently fangirling about to be able to stomach disregarding the main enemy of every adrenaline rush.

As far as Hatake Kakashi can tell, his favorite student is not one to be superficially addicted to something as trivial as Flappy Bird… right?

Step. Step. Step.

The class collectively gasps.

His enormous shadow finally comes looming above Sasuke's hunched posture, his single, visible eye crinkling in amusement when he sees that the boy has been in the process of texting before his head snaps up in alarm and glares defiantly at the intruder, hands already splayed protectively over his now most prized possession. "What?" he grumbles irritably.

From under his mask, you can clearly see Kakashi smirk.

Without warning, the ex-miltary-operative-turned-to-a-lecherous-old-college-volunteer, snatches the smartphone out of the student's feral grip. Putting the black pad of chips and plastics before his sightline in success. Orbs contracting in amazement upon reading the contents of the text message. Then he himself… ends up giggling. This is just so epic!

Sasuke panicking…

The whole top-ranking class hugely questioning each other…

And Naruto giving a knowing sigh that obviously hints of his superior omniscience…

Sai chuckles.

Before Kakashi ultimately decides that this joke is too good not to be shared. He chortles at himself, rereading the rather poorly-written "sext" for what appears like the fifth time, picturing Sasuke's destitute future had he chosen to be a third rate smut writer instead of a gifted someone who removes the controversial leaf censorship in Renaissance artworks. Hn. At least he is smart enough to choose a good career, the professor muses.

But apparently not intellectually-developed enough to just keep his business in the confines of his own room. And realize that sext is not supposed to be done this way.

This boy for all his ingenious qualities that Kakashi had a love/hate relationship with, obviously lacks the necessary subtlety in turning a girl on.

And so here is Hatake Kakashi, grinning maniacally as he deigns to teach Sasuke a lesson, courtesy of Master Jiraiya's biggest fan. "I believe this would be an interesting oral read, class."

For the first time in his life, the once proudly conceited Sasuke wishes that a thunder dragon will majestically part the skies and kill him right there and then in a speed faster than the sound of Kakashi's… announcement reaching anybody's ears.

"Tell me how I can send you to heaven tonight…" he begins reading, making sure that his voice is more seductively modulated than it had been when he was forced to read a passage of The Awakening last week. "I want to feel your soft lips against mine. And by that I mean the ones in your inner thighs…"

Everyone's jaws drop. The hell?

"We just got in an argument so I can't wait to have make-up sex with you." Kakashi plows on with mock seriousness, making it sound like what he is reading is Dante's Inferno, not a young adult's desperate attempt to masturbate. "I'm going to kiss your –blank-…" he blatantly chuckles at his own attempt on being Rated T. After all, Tsunade would have his head if he so much gives a whisper of example about the various terms a certified porno guru can creatively come up for the less attractive names they have for the sexual organs. Penis and vagina? Rather unpoetic if you ask him. But better to be safe than sorry, eh? "as I swirl my wet tongue on your moist –blank-. My –blank- is really hard now, you know. Everything throbs and it's no longer just my heart,"

Facepalms.

"I'll show you how much I love you."

Giggles from the daydreaming fangirls, on the hawkeye lookout for their phones in case they receive that message from their dear Sasuke-kun later.

"I'm going to –blank- you so hard. With my you-know-what inside your slit… er I mean" Kakashi hurriedly corrects his lack of censorship with a conspiratorial, rehearsed cough." –blank-. "

Laughter rings amidst the lecture room.

Naruto sweatdrops.

Sai smirks.

This is the instant Sakura wonders whether in fact Sasuke-kun is the reclusive, notorious author of the reputedly worst fan fiction in the world. Or if more leniently deduced, he is just misleadingly inspired too much by Tara Gillepsie to be able to write this atrocity… in My Immortal caliber

"Suck me… hmmm, let's just call the lucky girl 'Sunny'. Ah Sunny. Suck my –blank- until I get wasted. As I shove it to your throat to demonstrate how much it wants you. It's really red now, you know. Much like those sexy blushes in your face. It's your fault too as I know yours is mine."

Massive fainting ensues. Fangirls touching their faces to see whether they fit the meager description revealed. Making some boys groan at the pheromone overload.

"Oh! How I wish you know how ready my –blank- is for your err… –blank…." Kakashi mirthfully chuckles. "Too much idiosyncrasies. This class, is a big no-no in writing—"

Sasuke has had enough.

"Kakashi…" he growls warningly and pounces.

In revenge he makes sure that the next best thing the whole school will fuss about is an injured, pummeled-to-death, very-much-unmasked Kakashi as his dark-haired assailant leaves the room in a flash.

For Hinata is due to be back today. And even this curse of being this week's gossip would no way dampen his pleasant mood, thank you very much.

(TBC)

Dedicated to: mikes0me, nuriiko, tactics2012, oCloudNine, Saki-Hime, AnonOT, Delicatelyplaced, agateile, nyo-mila (you're wonderful, you know that?), nanitaa, Milkshakecat200 (thanks for updating ACE), LuluMonk, RikuDai, crimsonkira, farahb, A sunny place for Sasuke, Hinata 9810, Andreaeb182. In no particular order except that you are arranged that way the moment I opened my reviews page XDXD

Okay, I lied. Hinata is not yet back in this chapter but I love torturing Sasuke and his mini version (if you know what I mean~~) so considering that these scenes were actually where I initially brainstormed the creation of this fic, I decided that I'd include these for a filler chappie instead. Tell me if you have anything against my take on sexually-inept, virgin Sasuke. I am pretty much done on the trope sexGod!Sasuke. Why not we reverse situations this time around instead? XDD

Another monstrously hard chapter with lots of unpolished idiosyncrasies. Am not very proud of how I wrote this but since I would be very busy this week (with lots of stuff preceding enrollment), I opted to post this one now while I'll write the next chappie. Please notify me about any bad points about the writing. I'd really love to improve more. And yeah, I am using a very crappy keyboard.

This is loosedly based in real life btw, with the typical fictitious exaggeration. Lol. As Sasuke does, I hate those moments when the crappy internet interrupts a great show (and no, I actually meant watching Andrew Garfield stutter and not anything remotely.. err… ecchi.) I adore Kakashi in here though. And a lot of questions shall be answered in the next chapter. Is Hinata a virgin or not? Why not we find out?

I received lots of reviews the last chapter which makes me really happy and drives me to write faster (I want to finish this before June that s so I could be on hiatus without much regret). Hopefully, I'll receive lots of them today too because seriously I want to reach that 100 review mark when this ends in chapter ten *drools. Hopefully, I'd reach er… sixty today? Is that too much asking? Fifty should be enough though… #awkward

Please review.

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	5. Love & Hate

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05

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And finally, one Hyuuga Hanabi praises for whatever Lord that omnipresently governs them, exhaling with some purely exaggerated relief. Finally! They are finally out of the ridiculously large Hyuuga Prefecture!

A thousand acre of farmland grandiose, the Hyuuga property is the haven of every white-eyed oddball that had had luck on being born as one of the privileged to this world after all. An expanse of land so vast underneath an unquestionably domed sky you'd think the world never saw Colombus and through that, the ancient culture must be really up to something for presuming that there should be a single point on Earth that would be center. No map or globe would convince young, impressionable, patriotic Hyuuga children of otherwise. To them, the Hyuuga prefecture is what utopia is.

To the now seventeen year old Hanabi though, it's but a suffocating prison of traditions to be so faithfully adhered on as you try to act like a person belonging to the Amaterasu period when all you desire to do is just to break free from the cage and fly away.

The conspicuously white exquisite Hyuuga Bentley swerves smoothly along the road, casting a picture of regality as its figure becomes nothing more than a silhouette from the overlooking dark windows of the Hyuuga Main Mansion, the Yin-Yang symbol embedded on its doors glinting in shimmers amidst the harsh glare of sunlight. Even their namecodes are printed proudly on the license plate, along with other self-worshipping articles around the dashboard that hardly helps the unfortunate passengers as to hiding their identities from the mindful public. Who by the way are rather judgmental in their first impression of the wealthy-and-proud-of-it. Snorts are a common sight from the one-way view mirror. Highly esteemed in far superior circles, the Hyuuga sisters at a young age are unfortunately used to this treatment.

Which is not to say that it's any less tolerable than the last demeaning.

In fact, to think that things are set to improve over time is but a wishful fallacy. At another less privileged society where they are to be regarded reverently like Pluto, the Hyuuga would easily have been just be the filthy rich who likes to show their shiny ass off the ants below their feet. These days though, with the more sophisticated Japanese who now knows in theory (thanks to all those suicide clubs formed around the country) that money isn't entirely everything, the Hyuuga clan's "diamond beauty under the sun" only gets as far as to looking as ludicrous and daresay it, gay like fucking Edward Cullen. With such pronouncement strengthened by the progressively popular rhetoric: if you can buy everything, what do you buy? That sounds suspiciously like the Twilight movie's boring, rather unrealistic slogan.

Hanabi heaves another mighty sigh, hating the corporate world once again for giving them the capacity to afford this stupid, ugly Bentley. Geez, not that she is ungrateful or anything. But she would have just preferred a cheap, unsuspecting Volkswagen! But life for her isn't just so… generous.

Ironic choice of words? Well, people invariably ask what they can't get.

Plowing on towards the center. Maintaining a slow, unreasonable pace. Black-tinted windows that only indicate the class of the persons said automobile is chauffeuring. Riding in the luxurious car makes one feel like a celebrity on motorcade, what with them sparing even the third and fourth glances from curious passersby who seemingly doesn't have anything better to do than to gawk at something that is so last century. Those are in Hanabi's words anyway. What's so special about an old car anyway? Sure, Hinata would tell her it's vintage. And antique. And everything that seems to matter to Hyuuga Hiashi's world of numbers and figures. But still it's old! As much as she adored the old fart himself, Hanabi still is far from understanding her father's dumbass whims of showing all that is arguably "beneath him", just how far he is in the sky. Because that's plainly bullshit. Geez… Hiashi does wrinkle like any normal middle-aged man would, you know. And grow old just as unbearably stingy as the next person with budding attention problems typical of senior citizens.

I mean, they have Neji's wonderful BLACK Land Rover that can save them half the time of the short journey towards the train station and yet, here they are travelling through a car as old as time with a stern faced Hoheto who appreciates the golden silence in a more excessive way than the next introvert (meaning Hinata) would. Needless to say, no alternative rock music to at least pass the time. And a heavy air of awkwardness hanging around the conditioned air that robs off any oxygen that should make this trip more bearable.

Hanabi sighs again. More miserably this time.

Her older sister, on the other hand is noticeably more accepting of their "sweet predicament", with her optimistically pointing out something along the lines of "At least we managed to convince him against the idea of a limo." Which kind of makes sense since who in the world would take time preparing a limousine for a fifteen-minute short trip towards the cheap only-train-station-in-Taiyou? Show offs! Where are they off to? The prom?

But then again, Hanabi sighs once again. This time in utter relief as she looks forward for the wonderful sight of lots and lots and lots and lots of leaves again. We are finally out of the Hyuuga Prefecture and en route to Konoha (Konohamaru?), baby!

So if Hinata would just stop being a trembling, stuttering mess seemingly off in her first date, everything is going to be sooo perfect.

And oh, meet Hyuuga Hanabi, Hyuuga Hinata's baby ("Younger! It's younger! I'm not five, you dimwit) sister who in the confines of the oppressive Hyuuga community is known as the polite, formal, dignified heiress that is dubbed as Japan's most eligible bachelorette but in reality is only close to the next typical party-loving highschool girl (especially with Hiashi away with Hinata for a more than enough time) that Neji wouldn't hesitate to call a troublemaker. (Even though most of the time he forgets her name, too obsessed with his Hinata-sama to even bother about the younger one)The seventeen-year old girl is a great liar, shady manipulator, sneaky schemer and fortunately however for her good-friend-resume is also a very, very good soundboard. That which Hyuuga Hinata only takes advantage of today as she suddenly tells her dear imouto her innermost thoughts about her relationship with one Uchiha Sasuke.

"So this Uchiha Sasuke…" Hanabi deduces aloud from what she could gather from Hinata's jumbled storytelling, looking succinctly amazed by her sister's charms. No wonder Hiashi seems to think her useful now that she's of marrying age. With the looks she inherited from her late mother, Hinata could practically get any man… well, Father wants for her. She isn't so lucky then. Hn. ".. is a hottie from Konoha you managed to snag from a thousand miles away. Who you think is very much in love with you. Who you love yourself. Whom you had had several phone and cyber sex with. Who you want to have real sex with now. So? Nothing to worry about. I don't really see the big deal. Even though I have no idea what you did in order to deserve him. It's not like-"

Hinata winces, mentally thanking whoever invented those compartments that make the backseat soundproof from those in the front. Hanabi is also too blunt with her words for anybody's own good. Poor Hoheto would have been terribly scarred for life had he heard that their precious innocent Hinata-sama is planning to get laid tonight! Tch. Good thing he hadn't and wouldn't. For the last thing she wants is for her father's most loyal goon to report the hundred ways to go kill Uchiha Sasuke and completely ruin the night she had been looking forward to since last month.

She misses him so damn much.

And yet, there are some things she is still apprehensively shaky about… The momentous revelation after the inevitable penetration for one. "He's a virgin Hanabi…" she informs her sister. Forlornly. The statement leaving Hinata feeling heavy, as she closes her eyes in paralyzing regret.

Stunned, perplexed silence. In which Hanabi stares in puzzlement over at her fidgeting oneesama, mouth agape in shock. What twenty-two year old hottie (He's an Uchiha! They're practically Adonis, Narcissus and Eros all at the same time!) would be able to celebrate celibacy all throughout university years a.k.a the time of anyone's life when there's enough panty-dropping-moments to destroy your hymen? Wow! Did Hinata just manage to catch herself a maverick fish of husband material after all those sharks that she got on her hook? Impressive.

The younger Hyuuga makes a benevolent clapping motion, applauding her so far good impression of Hinata's long distance boyfriend. "Wow.." she chirps delightedly, white, featureless orbs shining in teenage girl's approval. And oh, I forgot to mention. Hanabi is also one of the most romanticized people you'd have the misfortune to meet around. Most Hyuugas are, if you take their unshakable belief of fate and destiny into the Shakespearean context. Poignant tragedy is a mandatory must read but some strange family member here and there still has that fluff guilty pleasure. That's probably why Hyuugas tend to write good fanfictions. Just the right mixture. "That guy of yours must be really one of a kind. Uchiha Sasuke hm. Does he by any chance have a younger cousin with spiky hair and wonderful dark eyes?"

Hinata doesn't even have to think about it. She subtly rolls her eyes. "Ano… no… As far as I can tell… he's not related in any way to Konohamaru-kun."

"Eeeeh?" Hanabi playfully chortles, brows wiggling in mock-dismay. "But he has the same name as Kono-chi's great grandfather! And I would have sworn they are very much a like. Amazing men. The both of them. Better than someone you know." Sensing that her past is a bitter subject to be dwelt on, Hanabi only quickly moves on. "Konohamaru-chin also stayed a virgin for me before we, you know, did the deed. So heroic. And look at us now: going strong, if you count out the fact that he still wears that ridiculous scarf." And still good friends with that Moegi, she grumbles sourly to herself.

Hinata frowns, unconvinced. "But the thing in yours Hanabi, is that you both are virgins when you did it." Hinata states firmly, interrupting her sister's tirade about her boyfriend's horrible fashion sense, which in turn only reminds of her own nightmarish wardrobe back in highschool. When she dressed around like an oversized child and got her heart broken for the first time. "And you're both sixteen. Sasuke and I are already in our twenties. Too old to only be sweethearts. And yet… he's still a virgin."

"What? You think he wouldn't be able to perform the way you would want him to? I didn't know you would be that impossible neesan. "

"Hanabi! That's not what I meant." The older girl vehemently denies the accusation, face flaming in both anger and humiliation. The fact that her baby sister who knows her best would think that low of her with just a misunderstanding. What would Sasuke think? Would he leave her too? Would he abandon her in disgust like everybody did once they found out? Like _**he**_did? What would she do? "I just don't think he deserves to have his first time with me." She admits slowly, hating how such detestable secret rolled out in her tongue bitterly. That she is far from the chaste maiden everyone imagines her to be once they get in touch of her naturally timid demeanor. That she might not meet the standards of Sasuke's dream "first time".

"I'm not a virgin Hanabi." She resumes miserably, looking grief-stricken. Her face contorted unattractively. Something that Hanabi thinks is worth flinching at. "You know that. And this would have been more bearable had Sasuke been not as well but the thing is, he is. And he wants to try it out first. With me. Of all people Hanabi. He chose me! I'm truly in love with him you know. Sasuke is such a wonderful person when you get to know him beyond the initial… ano…" She searches for the perfect word. In vain.  
"douchbaggery." It seems like she's been watching too much YouTube.

Uh. A virgin bad boy, Hanabi thinks in amusement, remembering Vegeta, her childhood hero. Haven't seen one in years. Tch. "So? What if you're more experienced? Surely he would be able to enjoy it better. I certainly didn't enjoy mine. My first time is not worth remembering and I'm sure you don't really appreciate recollecting yours."

"You d-don't understand. Having sex with m-me once he f-finds out might make him feel like he just had sex with a h-hooker." Hinata is now tearing up, causing Hanabi to flinch distastefully. She always hates crybabies. Whining older sisters included. "I don't want him to think that."

The unspoken: I don't want him to leave me.

Hanabi frowns in contemplation. She doesn't like where this is heading. "Well if he thinks that…" She offers, trying to bonk some sense to her illogical oneechan's thick violet head. For the longest time, such has always been her job. Being the voice of reason can be tiring too. Tch. Had Neji been born a girl, things would have been infinitely easier. But apparently the shampoo-loving freak is only good at displaying the symptoms of PMSing female… every single day. "… then think about it—he doesn't deserve you then. When he said he wants you, that would mean full package. Even the damaged and used goods…"

Hinata visibly winces at that.

"… should be taken with all his heart. But if he indeed is such a douchebag as you insecurely presume he would be—"

"Well, it's only reasonable that—"

"Shut up Hinata. I'm having a Martin Luther King quality speech here so don't interrupt."

Hinata instinctively obeys. Hanabi is one of those that sounds like Hiashi too. In fact, they look so much a like. Which could be a major, major Ew.

Unknowing of her oneesama's uncharacteristic criticism of her irreversible genetic makeup, Hanabi plows on, very much satisfied by her submission. "Well if your Sasuke can't accept you as who you are then he'd be missing a lot of things. There are a lot of men out there to screw. You saw how Takiyama-san is practically drooling over you last night, right? And how age doesn't matter in love? Father says he's really rich too."

"Hanabi!"

"And there's Kakashi. Father seems to like the old pervert a lot. No doubt, he isn't a virgin so you can jump his bones without worries."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this." Hinata puts both hands on her ears, leaving no room for any sense of politeness to listen to any more that Hanabi wants to say.

Exasperated, Hanabi only shrugs. "Just fuck him hard tonight okay?" she advices, straightening up with the authority of last year's homecoming queen. The unbreakable, unbelievable, you-wanna-piece-of-me aura that even their headstrong Neji-niisan could not dare to contest. "You have nothing to lose."

Right. Hinata concedes glumly, thinking of the several things she could lose like she did before. Did I mention before that Hanabi is an audacious liar of omission? After tonight Hinata might not lose anything, yes. Except Sasuke.

The car screeches into a halt.

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Over the past month of torture, Sasuke manages to learn a few things about himself. And as naturally self-introspective as he is cultured by reading countless of Leonardo's ruminating journal, it is only a given that he knows quite a number of them. Getting in touch with your preferences is the key towards daily contentment and likewise, the avoidance of that which that renders you cringing in distaste is something that you wouldn't regret in the long run. Through this, Sasuke was already well aware since he was nine and the lesser brother in Fugaku's eyes that he hates a lot of things. And that he does not particularly like anything. Such things are what make him who he is. But amidst such fundamental rules are a few exceptions to be squeezed into his uptight standards.

Almost three years ago, Hinata had made her way to the "likes" with ease, thanks to her sweet smile and her sexy cult knowledge that even the bookworm Karin and the booksmarts Sakura missed. Today, he has a lot of things added to the "hates" list. Two of them already are the infernal bananas and the nosy Hatake Kakashi but then, we already talked about that. But there is another invention of man that Sasuke would no longer find difficult to despise and that's because he used to love it and that, if you don't get the thin-line-between-love-and-hate axiom, then you're really hopelessly dumb and doesn't have any future being crushed on by an Uchiha (even the skull of Uchiha Madara would be able to grow legs and run from such dull creatures. We like intellectual quality here, thank you very much.).

Uchiha Sasuke is now an alienated man who hates porn with passion. (And he already hates Skype's inadequacy, mind you!)

Why? You'd think you had smartly asked. Only to be discouraged by Sasuke muttering how it's all already obvious from when he revealed such confidential information about himself. Sasuke hates porn. And that's not only because it makes the pain more unbearable than ever. Or the fact that there are just not enough of those that features dark-haired, pale-eyed girls getting it on with a tall, dark and handsome male. Having the disappointment about those slutty, BLONDE leading ladies not acting anything remotely like he preferred them to (coughlikeHinatacough) helps the swiftly-developing dislike but that's not it. I repeat, THAT'S NOT IT! Or the abundance of threesome videos that Sasuke realizes with chagrin is actually more complicated than the infamous cryptogram. (Where does the third party go when the couple snuggles together post sex? Surely, he wouldn't sleep with them! Oh God! He wouldn't want to share Hinata! Noooooo!) And no, again it's not that he was also forced to watch those so-called tutorials to prepare himself in showing his girlfriend his never-before-seen prowess in bed. And that they didn't help at all. No. Those hardly do his animosity justice. Uchiha Sasuke hates porn. And that's because of… dumdumdadumdadum…

Naruto.

Who after catching his bestfriend getting his cock pumped through some softcore hentai, had decided to ultimately humiliate him by giving a quick, extemporaneous lesson on SEX 101.

"Look dude." The blond lectured, patting him consolingly on the back. Which Sasuke only shrugged inconsiderately, not wanting a piece of Naruto's idiocy. "As long you have an erect dick in between your legs, it should be enough. It's not in Hinata to complain about such things. And think about it: you are not fucking her right? You are going to make love with her, hm? And I think as a man, that's all that matters. Not the kinky stuff. That'll come naturally later. Make your first time special. Mine wasn't with Sakura-chan, you know so I envy how you will have yours with the woman you love. Don't ruin it Sasuke." A pat in the back. Sasuke wouldn't let him hug him. That would be bromance to the max. Ew. So he nonchalantly shrugs off the hand.

Which is only fair to Naruto. The dobe then regards him with… regret that Sasuke can't even begin to decipher as he solemnly walks away.

So this is the story as to why he hates porn as he hates the undeniable truth that Naruto is the greatest friend he could ever wish in his lifetime. Watching porn when the dobe was around for a remonstrance that highlighted his inferiority made him look like a stumbling idiot who is only waiting here now in the train station just to have the best fuck in his life. Not to meet and greet the love of his life.

And oh, did he mention how much he hates being such an inexperienced virgin? It really sucks, you know. Like super big time.

The train's audible mechanical hissing as it drifts forward into stoppage snaps Sasuke out of his treacherous reverie about today's largest cyberspace marketing product. Renaissance had been basically an excuse for porn too but its art so he holds no grudge. Drifting his focus away from the Monet print he s in the process of extemporaneously dating, he catches sight of the train originating from Taiyou and with a start, he launches himself up to stand. This is it!

The white metal monster of a horizontal transportation unit lurches forward like a boss, commanding attention from those that had just been sitting idle, playing Candy Crush and reading halfway decent fanfiction on the clustered array of waiting benches a while ago. From overhead, various signboards proclaim the origin from where this new set of passengers are fetched from, neat glowing letters informing the whole place that those who just came from the Sun Village are about to step down on the platform. A woman's voice rings throughout the station as is protocol, cordially welcoming the newcomers to the wonderful, Hidden Village of the Leaf as the flock of multi-colored people smoothly disembark from the train all at the same time. The poor woman must be bored to death with all these tiresome routine.

What is everyday to the long-suffering employees in the bustle and hustle of the train station however seems only to Sasuke like an awe-striking, unconquerable multitude of obstacles that is set to hide Hinata from his immediate sight. Despite the futility of the situation, Sasuke still finds himself rushing in the crowd in search for his lovely beloved amidst the unrelenting crowd of eyesore. Violet hair… Violet hair… Shiny… Shiny… Lavender sweater… Blue-flower, red-thorn… Geez. This would have been easier had he been such a social person who didn't mind being poked, pushed, shoved, even pulled amidst a hasting crowd in to murder you with deadly stampede-no-jutsu. But as the condescending-as-ever fate would have it, successfully emerging from the sea of limbs and bad odor that does not have any intention to leave you unscathed, is rather an insurmountable challenge. So for the time being due to his mindless audacity, the great Uchiha Sasuke is to be trapped for a while amidst said ocean of I–can't-be-bothered-right-now self important blokes with no way out. Much less any intelligent plan to be reunited with his fair lady. Ouch.

Sasuke now officially hates train stations. Take note of that, thy fanclub!

When after what appears like a hundred years of painful stepping, deliberate elbowing, polite excuses and insincere apologies, the sea of people finally parted (not in his command though unfortunately), Sasuke only huffs in relief as he chases down back in the far, far safer sidewalk, wondering what the hell has driven him to get over-dramatic and try to meet Hinata's unawares by back-hugging her. Such clichéd plans apparently does not work in real life. Geez… Why must he be so socially inept not to be able to realize that?

"Ano… Sasuke-kun… Is that you?"

Hands stuck inside his pockets, Sasuke freezes at the soft, silky voice that greets him from behind, somewhat expecting the dream hands to wrap around him as he sinks to the warmth her presence shall offer. The voice doesn't sound familiar but such discrepancy is to be expected, in logical consideration that he had only heard it in roughly two years before and Skype's rather outdated feed tends to mess everything up. But the context of her uncertainty—the diction, the idiosyncrasies, the speech mannerisms—is but unmistakable. Sasuke, with a start whirls around and isn't the least bit surprised to find out that she is more profoundly beautiful than Skype made her out to be.

In fact, it hardly did her any justice. When in cyberspace she looked more like a haggard zombie-cosplayer that is supposed to be the epitome of an American Lawyer-wannabe, in life she becomes infinitely radiant. Eggplant hair shimmering. Face still painted with the perpetual blush that can instantly earn her a spot for Maybelline's next billboard. That soft smile looking genuine for once and not that creepy, pixilated curve of the mouth that it used to be any longer. Wide white eyes is then to be realized to actually possess a hint of lilac in them when you look closer (and drowndrowndrown) and that her hair is actually nowhere near black as it did seem in his now, crappy memory. She had grown as well, very much capable of meeting his lips through the slightest of tiptoes. More timely fashionable than the young woman who once preferred pencil skirts and conservative blouses, Sasuke still couldn't help but think that she s better off bare and without them. From the little skin that shows, he knows them now to be flawlessly unblemished. Sasuke can't wait to have his way with her now. But that have to be reserved somewhere with enough privacy to do whatever he wants…

Argh. That kind of talk again. Didn't he just make it clear to himself ten minutes ago that he was not only here to get laid? He is such a hypocrite!

The aches in his lower extremities worsen nonetheless and yet they choose to take their sweet, sweet time into something that might just be memorizing each other's features, just in case they forget again.

They stare at each other for a long, long, comfortable while.

Before from behind Hinata appears an amused-looking brown-haired, white-eyed teenager, donning a smug smirk while she indiscreetly checks him out. Grinning. Hands clasping. Looking nothing at all like Hinata even though they obviously are related. As a matter of inference, she looks more like a happier version of Neji, who at the very least wouldn't muster any reason to glare hotly at him upon finding his status as their Hinata's boyfriend, if that sunny approving smile is of any constant to the equation. From what he can gather through these observations, Sasuke infers that this must be Hanabi.

The firework.

And so it is of no surprise when after eyeing their both immobile figures back and forth, she explodes out the first bubble of awkwardness with, quoting Deidara… a bang. "Ne.. Ne.. Neechan… _Niichan_… Don't you think that this should be the perfect time for a hug? Reunion after two years, baby! This should be the best hug I'd be seeing since Neji-niisan and that Hinata-facsimile-pillow. "

Silence. Whereas Sasuke and Hinata remains unmoved, shock still by everything all at once.

What pillow?

A hug?

Perfect time?

Isn't hugging so familiarly when they never, ever did in the past, rather too pretentiously awkward? Hinata ponders glumly to herself. In front of a squealing little girl no less!

On the other hand, Sasuke is on the same boat but on an altogether different ocean. Tch. I prefer the back hug. Makes me more in control. Not that he insists, mind you. But still, as a man… that's the closest to being sickly sweet as he could ever get.

So feet, meet invisible glue to the floor, immovable as though their shadows are entangled together. Whether it be because they are now inexorably bound now that they have finally crossed paths or forever doomed at arm's length is a disregarded omen. Sasuke remembers Hinata as a rather plain, young woman in life—pale skin, short frame, heart-shaped face- but today, as usual with her tenacity compatible at those sort of shockers, he has to be proven wrong. Love undoubtedly changed her.

Or maybe that's just only her substantial time in another country that significantly altered her.

Nevertheless, true beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And he is so proud of that he forgets the caveman pan to eat her, right there and then.

This is absolute absorption to the core.

But little Hanabi suddenly just got struck by an idea. "Oh…" she compromises, sounding mischievously dumbstruck as she winks at each of them. "Oh. I know. I know. Sexual tension already at first sight hm. Didn't know it makes you freeze like that…. But I guess it makes sense. Neechan's sexy. And you are unexpectedly, HOT. Hotter than that Naruto in any case. Hmph. Anyway…"

So Hyuuga Hanabi, not to be deterred by her older sister's indignant protests on being the rightful one with the authority around here, proceeds on giving Uchiha Sasuke the dos and don'ts pertaining to being the boyfriend of her lovely older sister. "Made by Neji" she adds. "But thankfully revised by yours truly. Because we all need to get laid tonight too, you know. And knowing Neji, that's a prohibition in itself."

"Hanabi!"

"Oh… Hinata-nee. I know. I love you too. Muah. Muah." In a much softer, menacing tone: "You'd thank me for this later."

So Sasuke ends up wondering upon deciding that he likes Hanabi very, very much (younger sisters are much, much better than older brothers apparently), whether Hiashi could ever be as fairly lenient once they meet.

Or whether the Gods seem to finally come into the unanimous verdict that Sasuke is likeable enough to get lucky this time around.

..

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HYUUGA HANABI'S: HOW **NOT** TO MAKE ME UBER-PISSED AND THUS CHICHUE UBER-HARSH ON OUR LOVELIVES (ALONG WITH SOME POINTERS ABOUT THE KEY ON AVOIDING AN ANGRY NEJI'S JYUUKEN ATTACKS)

1) "Unfortunately, Hinata-nee and I could only extend our stay here for as long as the next day and no later unless we want my father breathing on our necks without training you to the basics on 'how to marry a Hyuuga'. So after you do you thing, make sure to meet me here at the train station at 9:00 sharp and without fail." (Hinata nods fervently in agreement)

2)"Don't worry about this being too much of a tragic secret meeting between young lovers. I'm sure neechan has a plan. You're too cute to be let go! Or if she is stupid enough, I'll catch you so as I said, worry not. I look like her anyway. " (Sasuke cringes. The pedo feels. Ew) 

3) "I'd prefer Hinata in one-piece tomorrow. Knowing her, she'd probably forget to comb her hair at the heat of the moment. So I'd like you to keep a meticulous eye on details. Father only likes his daughters when they look presentable. (Hinata grumbles something about "I'm not a child and you should speak for yourself." To which Hanabi has no reserves of witty repartee, given that they both know this is no first time and that this is but an unnecessary remark in order to get into Sasuke's tickles. Sneaky child)

4)"Of course, I'd love to hear a story. Regardless of being it mostly smut. Make sure to tell me everything in the morrow 'kay? Whether you woke up early to have a quickie. Or you have the time to take a shower together. Or if the motel costs a fortune. Things like that." ("You're shameless, you know that?. Hn." "Ano… I'm so sorry about my sister Sasuke-kun.")

5) "And last but not the least, have a nice, hot, steamy fuck the both of you! Do not disappoint, you hear me!"

This is when faster than they can blink, the odd Hyuuga firework flickers away into nothingness, leaving in her dust of materialization two dumbstruck young adults. But such ninja worthy spacetime technique probably has something to do with the Sarutobi kid waving around the station's entrance, that ugly leaf-green scarf billowing against the air conditioning.

Sasuke and Hinata both sigh in relief, glad to have that embarrassing spectacle over. Hn. Might as well proceed now. Like they tacitly planned. "Hey…" he greets at last, smiling.

"Hey…" She grins back shyly.

And then they look into each other's eyes again… Corny… But still they couldn't resist… Three… Two… One...

And so like a shadow's breadth had been but a superficial distance to begin with (they had been a thousand miles apart before and that didn't stop them, right?) their lips inch closer to meet for the first time, feet crossing and the heart's distance made suddenly meaningless at the wake of this palpable attraction.

This, Sasuke decides with finality as he opens his mouth for her tongue to slip in, is what he can easily, effortlessly love the most.

(TBC)

Thanks to: maxridelover, crmsonkira, farahb, Milkshakecat200, Guest, nyo-mila, RikuDai, A sunny place for Sasuke, LuluMonk, agateilie, tactics2012, Ookami Tsubasawa. Don't worry I'm not keeping future chapters hostage. Just that I have been hella busy these past few weeks in essays written in our main language (something I am not good at since I only speak the dialect). Tch.

This serves as a sort of prelude for the big, climax-inducing (no pun intended? Hm.) events for the next chapter. So Hinata is not a virgin? How come? Lots of revelations would be touched upon that. And finally we are coming to the real plot. What is this secret that Hinata seems so intent to keep? Well, think of this as DragonBall teaser… let's see that in the next episode blah blah

After skimming through this chapter, I realize I must have come off as a basher in some parts. But may I remind you that I am only using derogatory pop culture in a humorous way. I have nothing against Twilight, Fifty Shades, fanfiction writing (duh!), porn or anything else you might manage to sift through. Lol. I just like to make fun of them in an admittedly not-so-tongue-in-cheek way. As for the Renaissance facts, I just have to say I'm not really an art aficionado. But as it happens, Angels and Demons by Dan Brown is my first ever English book (I was thirteen. I'm eighteen now so…) so you can imagine the impression it gave me. Lol. But feel free to lecture me if I got things wrong. I'm an avid learner.

Not much laughs? Boring? Can't wait for the smut? Tell me what you think! I adore reviews like Belgian chocolate. And 50 reviews for four chapters is really greeeeaaattt. Love you minna… Hope to read more.

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	6. Fuck Buddies

**LEMON ALERT. Feel free to tell me if it is so bad you just want to cry. **

06

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Kissing Hyuuga Hinata senseless as they are boarding the bus wasn't exactly part of the plan. At least not how Sasuke had imagined their first hot-as-fuck (literally) make-out session to be. But as his foresights tended to be disproven so cruelly by Fate, it still happened anyway and so the decrepit, old man with the bad arthritis on his lower spine was stuck standing in the rapidly moving bus while two youngsters chose to suck faces in public. He didn't really appreciate the sight. He thinks he is too old for that.

One moment they were just telling each other how great being school was, like kids of propriety should be doing instead of hopping off from one bed to another as often as they change their underwear. But the next, as the bus met a pothole (why was there one in Japan's supposedly concrete roads anyway? Stupid driver! Stupid Konoha!) and lurched forward so powerfully you would think that the inherent inertia within the compressed seats was the only thing that saved you from meeting Amaterasu-o-mi-kami in person. And boooom… we have two young people with their lips mashing together for dear life, as if getting killed had been the last thing on their minds and getting laid tonight (even on the cramped seat of the public bus? Kids these days) was the foremost…

Smooch. Smooch. Smooch.

The cute girl with the dark blue, almost-luminescent hair seems to be winning the battle of lip-locking, easily dominating the guy with her subtly wandering hands and more forceful stance as she practically devoured the lucky, lucky boy on the spot. It is glowingly apparent who the more experienced one is and obviously, the one who would be on top tonight. Nobody would have expected. Having that innocent, I-can't-break-any-plate vibe and all… She has her hands cupping the other's hollowed cheeks, firmly sucking the guy's bottom lip to her mouth.

Smooch. Smooch. Smooch.

The boy is very willing to learn though, with him practically fucking the girl's preoccupied mouth. Massaging their tongues together, the lip play commences noisily. Smooch. Smooch. Smooch. So maybe, theirs should be a violent match of whose coitus is more stimulating. Both too willing and submissive. Aah. The sweet life of young people… if only they know what the chaotic world of adults has reserved for them.

Eeek…

The poor, long suffering old man stumbles forward at the sudden pause of the rapidly moving vehicle, cursing the world for not making his shoes a super magnet or something. And ever giving birth to a species called disrespecting, horny teenagers. But like a silver lining in a storm cloud, there's always the bright side…

With the bus thankfully halting at a stop with a jotting start, the couple has also broken away; panting heavily as they gaze at each other's contrasting orbs. White and black. Like yin and yang. So absorbed in making bedroom eyes with the other that they hardly notice a grumpy looking old fart clearing his throat from behind them, in hopes of taking away the seat this pair had ungraciously forgotten to offer him.

Until he tells them, quite bluntly with a distinctive clear of the throat, to just go get a room. That blunt reminder does the trick as both scramble back up in flustered embarrassment, both blushing furiously. The boy looks at the window. The girl follows his gaze. And with a small nod to the other, they seem to agree impromptu that alighting now from commuting and walking along the way instead, is the best way to be able to endure in the meantime the claustrophobic, accident-prone atmosphere that crackles their yet untamed passion. The girl bows politely and mutters something close to an apology as the senior citizen ostentatiously lowers himself onto the vacated seat. The male grunts a prompt for his girlfriend and possessively pulls her down with him towards the exit. The old man then spies the couple fussing over each other's rumpled clothes by the side walk and smiles to himself. Young love…

It seems the sky doesn't agree though as five months worth of rainfall crash down so suddenly in thundering torrents from the progressively dark, weeping sky. Right on fucking time…

Instant cold shower anyone?

.

.

At another time, making a run towards the University underneath an unrelenting barrage of water needles being aimed at the hellish world like projectiles straight from the heavens would have been one of the ever-increasing groupies in Sasuke's most subscribed hatelists. He never liked the rain. In fact, he hated it so much that he could never stomach visiting his older brother in his lore in Amegakure, however the guy might attempt to boast the masterpiece he has for a flat. Or the enviable fact that he currently hangs out now with a bunch of other promising artists. In the end, Sasuke still has the better thesis. Anyway… So dismal the rain is. So sad. The rain is a reminder of the worst times that has ever walked its trail of grief and destruction on Earth, where starvations and killing are the norms and sex stenches so much that sheltered Victorian girls didn't know about it until their husbands started stripping on their honeymoon night. Sasuke didn't like the rain. And no, that's not because he got his family massacred on a rainy day or something. Geez… That didn't happen. It was in shallow reality, purely for historical, rather unfounded reasons that he found the rain a dreary phenomenon he couldn't look forward to even if he was born a struggling, destitute farmer. That was, until he met Hinata.

He remembers that two days before she flew off to America, he had met her for the last time, soaking wet outside the dorm, fidgeting and heavily flustered by her state of heavy see-through dress. At the time she was only there to deliver her views about the seventh riddle (something about math, one thing most Hyuugas universally claim to be good at) and inform him about her imminent departure. That rainy night, he had given her one of his shirts to change with. That rainy night, she hugged him for the first time. That rainy night, he had his first ever boner with a human girl and still he hadn't realized how hot she looked in his clothes (and maybe without it too? Hn) until seven more successive dreams of her humping in erotically with it on, breasts jiggling erratically at every to-and-fro movement.

So shielding her away from the unforgiving rain today—her body so close he didn't need his wild, wild imagination to know how good it must feel under his- doesn't in any way change… well, his changed opinion of the rain.

The bigger problem that wouldn't have bode well with this less-prejudiced opinion of the heavens having a drama fest though is that the rain didn't give him much time for a more logical approach of thinking. That instead of heading first to his university room to show her his finished thesis…

He should have just fucked her senseless first in some motel.

.

Dorm Hagoromo didn't gain its notoriety for its self-published ghost stories. Or the fact that it had been named after a God himself. In fact, once you heard that the geniuses in every batch somehow always found a way to converge and work together here, you'd instantly forget the first two and wonder whether something fishy is up with the administration. Because, who the fool would dare to challenge this dorm to the annual inter-dorm quiz bee? Last year they had Hyuuga Neji beat everyone's stuck-up-assess up with his all-seeing Byakugan psychology. And even Lee managed to share his "youthfulness" by excelling at the extemporaneous speaking competition. This year they have Sasuke, Shikamaru, Shino and believe it or not, he is feared, Naruto as a lineup against the obviously lesser dorms. So them having the one-year food supply is but a delicious guarantee. That particular scaly work is by the way, courtesy of the current headmaster, Tsunade who is as popular with her favoritism to the intellectually talented as she is with her hidden stack of sake somewhere in her immaculate office. Dorm Hagoromo is already more than just a name that housed guys who are too smart for their own good, who has their ears listening keenly against the wall and who knows each and everybody's business like the introductory part of their modules.

In other words, Room 7, placed as it is in the middle of everything (with Kiba and Shino on the right side part, occupying Dorm Eight. A.K.A. Animal lovers in the house who are screamers in bed. Yeah, they like each other too much), offers no escape as to the busybodies who would like to be a part of the end of the Sasuke's virginity days.

Thanks to Sai, every little cocksuckers living in the same building as him knows that. And no, that incident with Kakashi's literature class doesn't help at all.

This, were all the things what Sasuke had neglected to ponder about as they finally reach the dormitory building, shaking all excess droplets from their wet forms while still maintaining that intoxicating connection with their eyes. Hinata smiles shyly at him. Sasuke grins affectionately. The skies are now raining cats and dogs, the relentless patter drumming over the small roof that they are for the moment sheltered on and yet they hardly notice. Hinata takes her hair up into a loose ponytail, alluringly exposing to him her creamy, white neck.

Indiscreetly, Sasuke licks his lips.

The moment our favorite couple comes into a more spacious overhang, their heavily soaked garments has then become a valid reason to take each other's clothes off under the oh-so-romantic rainfall. Ferociously shed off. All of this done with their lips desperately connected together. Hinata ventures first by trying to take his jacket off, small but firm hands ripping away the zipper and long, nimble arms pulling his muscular ones from the sleeves. Hands roaming around his chest. Her knee conspicuously brushing on his very much erect clothed member. Sasuke can only do little but to finally cup one of her D-sized, wonderful breasts through her now transparent purple blouse and groangroangroan in unprecedented pleasure he realizes he has never felt before while touching himself. Strong arms squeeze her into a hug, keeping her warm body as close to his as possible whilst still keeping their lips locked tightly together. He feels on fire. She feels like ice.

It is her adventurous tongue that first invades the line between chaste and the sexual, with her bravely asking for permission and him confusedly opening his lips for her. Tongues now entering a wrestling competition while they sensually massage each other's pout with slow but sure ministrations. Hinata's cold hands fly to cup his face nearer, guiding the inclines and leaning of his head from where she is somehow certain they can get a better angle. Sasuke doesn't have time to wonder about his girlfriend's apparent experience with this though when Hinata opts to break away, mouth agape in heavy, restrained breathing as she gradually slides her hands down to cage his. She has her lips barely touching his but the sensation of breathing each other's air proves to be too damn much. "Bedroom…" she murmurs pleadingly and oddly enough, he feels a hand touch the epicenter of his ragingly, tightening pants. Oooh…

She is touching him… HIM!

Hinata shrieks in surprise when a pair of powerful arms takes her legs upwards, having her spunned airborne in a heart stopping hoisting motion. The next thing she knows is her being carried by Uchiha Sasuke bridal style, with him running inside the building four steps at a time in a sprint towards Room Seven. Peripheral vision informs her that they are very lucky indeed that the hallway is devoid of chatting students or besotted drunkards banned from entering their room. But nevertheless, Hinata covers her red face with her fingers until she hears Sasuke kick open a door and she feels the impact of being unceremoniously thrown on a bed.

Darkness welcomes her sight as the stale smell of man cologne and air freshener wafts around her aroused senses. Absentmindedly, she notes with displeasure that the blankets she is lying on has been unwashed for far too long for comfort. They stick to her moist skin like an abhorrent second skin. And they smell unfavorably too… With shaky limbs she tries to prop herself upwards, legs unintentionally wide open.

Sasuke groans happily at the sight of her being very ready for him.

Hinata quickly recognizes the bed they have landed on to be Naruto's. (Everything, she winces while fisting said sheets in anticipation, is in orange like in highschool. And well, there's that famous pink pillow…)

Menacingly as though he's making the clichéd predatorxprey a reality, Sasuke calculatively comes forward, taking his shirt off in a way he think is sexy in the process. Dark Adidas top goes abandoned on a book shelf somewhere. Heavy steps are methodically inching towards her. Broad shoulders contract as he leans forward down to her ankle, kissing his way up to her heel and his daring tongue tickling her thoroughly. He saw it done as foreplay many times in really great porn. Men might thinks it's tedious but most girls love it. Hinata is no exception. Toe curling pleasure overwhelms her and moaning in ecstasy at this smallest of ministration that she hardly notices her pants being forcefully pulled down by the culprit himself, the heat of it coming off burning profusely on her skin. She feels like Achilles, most vulnerable at the tendon on her feet. And Sasuke is apparently astute enough to take advantage of this discovery.

Her feet flail wildly as Sasuke struggles on dragging the pants off her. But the torture is proven worth it when he finally tosses the denim garment some yards away, his intimidating muscular form crawling closer to where the ache for him centers the most. He smirks smugly at the moist center visible from the pink (he winces) underwear, realizing quickly from all those smut he has read what exactly this means.

Thank you Jiraiya-sensei!

"You want me too much, don't you eh Hinata?" he purposely whispers with a husk in imitation of Hideo Akagi the protagonist of the fourth installment of the Icha Icha series. He puts his lips on the back of her thigh, feeling her shudder uncontrollably when he flicked his tongue. "You want me to fuck you, eh.. Hn…?" The legendary dirty talk.

Hinata only grumbles an incomprehensible response, not wanting to tell him how he is too handsome for his own good. And the what-might-be-inevitable "you're a fucking slut, you know that?" pronouncement he might conceitedly get from her vocally expressing her want of him.

Sasuke chuckles nonetheless, licking that spot on her thigh he is only previously inhaling. Hinata visibly flinches, wondering how the hell this guy can tell where her buttons are. Is he a fucking sex god in the making? Good Lord. Fondling her with the tip of his fingers. Smearing her all over as if for lubrication. Hands tripping slightly across her tickles. Hinata unconsciously fists her hands through his silky, dark hair. This is too much… She'd go mad with bliss before she succeeds on making this night worth for their sakes. This isn't about her. it's about him.

Time to get to the plan then. So the Hyuuga acrobat with the haste and dexterity of a trained martial artist she was raised to be, manages to flip their position in the inverse, with her practically sitting now on his face, knees spread provocatively on his face.

Sasuke gasps amidst a mouthful of panty and musky scent. Is his girlfriend really a closet dominatrix or something?

Feeling the weight shift on his toned abdomen, Sasuke watches Hinata pull her own blouse over her head, revealing to him in life the twin mounds he has many a time dreamed on sucking like a baby. "You want them too right, eh Sasuke-kun?" she provokes and unhooks the bra clasps sexily. She leans closer to his face, her perked nipples brushing sensitively on his nose. "Milk them then…"

And like a baby, he obediently follows.

Mouth opening to fully engulf the larger than average mound, Sasuke makes a tentative link to the pink nipple. What follows is a series of instinct when a child is faced with a lollipop. His tongue stripes and slather around the globes he is nuzzling, reflexively capturing more skin as he becomes more determined to fill the entirety of his mouth. From above him, Hinata moans in what the PWPs he read described as ecstacy, her lower body now surreptitiously rubbing against his still overdressed one while she tries to thrust her womanly essences back and forth to his.

A wanton groan escapes the Uchiha's occupied mouth, now finally feeling the immediate need to get rid of those damn pants. It's too tight it's already excruciatingly painful. He frees one hand from her iron grip in order to do something about that suffocating belt buckle, finding it even more wonderful to be able to elicit another moan from her when he inadvertently brushes a finger against her exposed belly-button. Erogenous? Hn. He resumes on stroking the inflammable skin, liking the way she keeps her grip even firmer on his shoulder, as if afraid to let him go.

When it got too much however, the girl pushes herself up from his still busy mouth, giving him a discouraged frown that only succeeded on looking like a sulky pout. Sasuke smirks but she doesn't retort on anything. Instead, she drags herself down further, purposely having her scantily-clad body glaze over his trembling one, hands going straight to his still locked belt buckle.

With an expertise he doesn't dare question, he finds himself without pants in a matter of moments (when he can only watch Hinata in daze as she wets her lips in unconcealed desire and he starts to wonder whether she herself has done her own homework for today's. ummm… climax). The boxers follow later and Hinata is left staring in awe at an angry, red, rock hard member that stands erect as if begging to be eaten. She blushes but even the shy temperament returning with a vengeance cannot conceal her impressed huff. "Wow.."

Sasuke waits…

And waits.

And waits…

His stomach clenches in mild disappointment. Isn't she supposed to be so turned on by his impressive size that she would begin doing the sucking thing now? Because, geez, he knows he is big. Uchiha men all are.

He frowns and stares at her very much awestruck expression. "Now… what?" he attempts to grumpily prompt, only to sound more like a wheezing child denied a candy.

"Oh!" she exclaims in mortification, face flushing furiously in multiple shades of a humiliated red upon realizing she has kept him waiting long enough. "Just that… ano… I didn't expect this…"

"What? That I'm big?" He is, to say simply offended.

"Ano… I didn't mean it like that." She answers, smiling awkwardly and laughs nervously. That finger poking habit again… "Just that… the last time I checked, Japanese men don't get this big."

The what? The last time she checked? What does that even mean? But before Sasuke can go as far to ruminate those any further, she already has her dripping cunt aligned on his manhood, strong thigh muscles at work and ready to plunge in anytime. When did she remove her panties? No time to think about that. He waits with bated breath for the momentous… well, moment of truth, his fists curling on the sheets with apprehension.

She's on top of him!

Hinata smiles reassuringly.

And so she lowers herself to him, her insides completely sheathing his flaming rod and he watches with twisted appreciation when it finally disappears inside her.

Sasuke gasps.

Hinata groans.

Sasuke screams hoarsely.

And Naruto does too, along with an ensemble of things breaking and falling-over SFX… Wait… What the flying fuck? Naruto?

No. No. No. Inside Hinata, he chivalrously resists the urge to facepalm. Not again. Lord, he had enough of this already!

"Oh God! " As if on cue with his bestfriend's desperation, the currently unluckiest blonde in the world now shrieks in panic, cursing himself for coming out of the shower at the worst time ever. "Hinata! Y-you're back! I had no idea. Dammit. Sorry teme! I didn't meant to! Ugh! Ouch! I was just in the shower! Shit!" Things crashing into what sounds like complete smithereens, in which Sasuke wishes to all the gods above for Naruto to somehow bash his thick, knucklehead to something lethal. But fat chance… the guy's lifeforce is as tenacious as the most annoying of cockroaches. In other words, hitting him with a giant slipper simply is no longer sufficient. And no amount of insecticides could obliterate this pest from the face of the Earth. "I didn't know you two are there! If I did… oh Sage of Six Paths… I didn't mean to… I mean… I mean… Argh!"

Another batch of things breaking.

Sasuke sighs. He lifts Hinata up from his now deflated dick, grabbing up the covers to hide their still charged up selves up. Damn.

Naruto is trembling for his life.

By this time, Sasuke has already managed to completely cover Hinata up with the orange blanket… who seems very close to fainting this time. He was so close too! Dammit! He was practically inside her. INSIDE HER! And Naruto taking his fourth obsessive bath of the day just have to ruin things. "Just… shut the fuck up dobe…" he points… pointedly at the door."and LEAVE!"

But the Gods are once again campaigning against him.

The door opens, and Sai, in all his damnable, abhorred glory emerges from the blinding, white light. Hinata shrieks in surprise and hides her very naked self further behind Sasuke's, the arms encircling his neck trembling in fear of the intruder. Said interloper smirks, putting his hands on his hips. "So it's true…" the artist begins, eyeing Sasuke's nude form underneath Naruto's blankets and the shivering figure of a female he is trying so hard to obscure from his sharp eyes. "… that the princess is back. She really is! Heard from Kotetsu next door that he saw Sasuke making out with a hottie by the entrance. Just checking out if it's true. Seems like I'm losing a total of thirty bucks today. Tch. What a waste."

Shamelessly, the creep moves forward and extends a hand to the absolutely terrified Hinata. "But it's worth it, I guess. The name's Sai. And I know you're Hinata. I must say you are much sexier in person and that DP in your Twitter hardly gives your radiance justice. I follow your Facebook and everything else by the way, so do not be surprised. If you actually need any help…"

Sasuke quickly slaps the arm away, which is on its way on fishing out a customized callmecallme calling card. "She doesn't." He glares at both of his roommates. Naruto appears to be about to piss on his pants, his teeth chattering fearfully at the intensity of Sasuke's killer intent. Sai, is as usual neither affected or apathetic of the procedures. He is too busy on sizing Hinata up and down that you'd think he had hung up on his homosexuality for a while and put it into the closet for later's convenience. Sasuke curls his fists at the thought and spits out. "Now… OUT!"

"But I think you should do your thing on your own bed—"

"It's nice to meet you Hina-hime…"

"I said… OUT!"

The two of them scamper away like scaredy squirrels.

Sasuke then turns his attention towards the unmoving Hinata while rubbing his forehead in frustration and is not at all surprised by what he sees next.

She has already fainted.

.

.

Hinata wakes up in the deafening chirping of Konoha crickets upon feeling a heavy weight press her further on a soft mattress, soft lips enveloping her cheek and morning breath fanning her still recovering senses. Hands roam around her body and yet the touch doesn't feel as invasive as it normally would be at another instance. Keeping those warm hotspots modestly resting on her side must have been a challenge. Even in probability made more so by the apparent desire of her wake-up-call to just do what his body intends to. She vaguely feels soft, puckered lips trail gently around her own, tongue moving slightly to lap away what must be a drool as the man shifts his position so as not to smother her. One hand goes to affectionately comb her hair in a raking motion, calloused fingers rubbing silkily on her scalp.

Unfocused whirls of blinding colors welcomes her as she slowly opens her eyes, the movement inspiring the Uchiha to press his forehead against hers while complacently donning a luscious smirk printed on his beautifully carved features. Hinata smiles softly at him, raising her head slightly forward for her kiss to meet his nose. "Morning.." she greets.

He allows himself to kiss her fully this time, savoring the flavor he couldn't remember ever tasting in anything before (even when he ACCIDENTALLY kissed Naruto but that's another story best not told). Bare breasts press firmly at his equally naked chest, the swell of her soft organs feeling just perfect for his hard, lean frame. He strokes her hair letting his lips descend down to her collarbone. Hinata cranes her head to give him better access, rubbing his bare butt cheeks slightly. She then wraps her legs around his waist, wanting nothing else but to feel more of him. So early in the morning. Maybe they can actually do a quickie like Hanabi had uncannily prophesized after all.

Something very wet and slimy is poking her thigh.

Hinata realizes with a start what exactly it is.

In a flurry of movements and Sasuke just momentarily parting for something much, much better than kissing, she feels that particular something sink deep down on her without any difficulty associated with spontaneity, slickly reaching the spot she has always wanted to be reached, retracting it for a while before ultimately impaling her insides with it.

Hinata's breath hitches.

She digs her fingers into his shoulder while biting back a moan of frisson, swallowing her scream as hard as she can muster. Her knees buckle and her throat makes a struggling noise that is somewhere between a sob and a whimper. Sasuke meanwhile sets up a pace, thrusting solidly in and out and violently pounding his hips against hers. His movements are sloppy but it does what it does best. His breath ghosts over her neck. His fingers are loosely holding her clenched hands. And he has that leg hooked tightly around her waist for better coordination. He keeps on drawing to and from of her, loving the moans she is now freely gasping in absolute pleasure.

"Oh Sage… yes… yes… Indra… Ashura… Nnnghhh…" she breathes with noticeable pants, feeling her vision cloud into a nebulous white and the spring of passion she has accumulated since last night viciously uncoiling. An orgasm so powerful she almost thinks she's be reduced in nothing more than a vegetable after this. She never expected… that she prefers men this big, fast and hard. "Ah…Sasuke!"

His rhythm slows down at his own impending climax but that hardly matters.

"Sasuke!"

"Hinata!"

And everything all at once splinters into a trail of fire. In which time virtually slows down for the couple, spending the extended moment for them to just stare with satisfaction at each other's wide eyes.

Sasuke after a while shows her a bottle of lotion, explaining everything through only that container of lube. "I can't really let you leave at 9 A.M without us getting lucky. So I have to improvise. I know it would hurt without proper lubrication so I got this. Thank Sai and his exposed belly, we actually have women's lotion handy. "

He gets off her so as not to crush her under his weight. Hinata turns sideways to face him, smiling brightly and appreciatively at the man she is starting to admire in more ways than one. At least… well… at least, he isn't just all looks. Though she already has found that out long ago but still… encountering someone so good in bed for a first timer is enough to make her forget, if only for a short delirious moment that good things like this, like Sasuke, like Sasuke&Hinata, won't last. They kiss and it's so full of gratitude. He smiles, putting a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She pinches his exquisite nose, loving the way it always seems to be so sharply contoured but still retain its level of cuteness at the same time.

It's Hinata who first breaks the comfortable silence, adoring how his bare body fitted perfectly with hers. He's so warm. So fiery. But as captivating as the lightning as well. She traces circles around his shoulders, revering at the way he tensed under her touch. "I didn't expect our first time to be like this actually." She admits.

"Well it's my first sex." he replies this with genuine good humor, eyes closed. He hugs closer. Hinata is content to bask in the heat he is generously radiating. But the next follow-up inquiry stills Hinata into apprehension nevertheless. "Who's yours Hinata hmmm?"

From outside, the storm from last night still rages on. Hinata could only hope that this is the storm before the calm.

Fat chance.

.

Highschool is a the stage of life when you'd think you are now ready to face the world with the big guns. Only to find out forlornly that you are still nothing but an ignorant fledgling that is meant to make the stupidest of mistakes to be able to learn the best lessons in life. Humans are made of blunder. They grow smart through it, a proven fact that dates back as far as Eve being such an impressionable bitch and eating the fruit the snake had offered her. It had been a mistake, they all say. A sin even. The first ever. But despite the harsh perception of her supposed shortcoming, in the end it gave her descendants the foremost ability to think for themselves. To be men of the world. Mulling about it, this sounds like the Lord's counter weapon for the next generation to be a better race. Inherent intelligence equals learning. And learning equals enlightenment. To be able to reach the absolute Nirvana, you have to be as awakened as that big-boned Buddha sitting in all business establishments nowadays. Experience is the best teacher. And just being afraid of repeated history is enough motivation for you to learn where you had erred.

Hinata had many regrets in her life. One of which, after seeing how Sasuke is still devoted with her even after he found out the truth about her chastity (or lack thereof), is that she wasn't able to save herself fully for the man who might actually be in love with her.

Meeting him sooner would have saved her a lot of tears and grief.

She has learned to love him because he loves her. Hinata knows full well the feeling of being in an unrequited romance with someone who only used you for their own gain and contentment. She doesn't want that to occur to another soul again.

Especially Sasuke.

"So you are telling me…" he responds to her admission with a surprised exhale of a breath he didn't realize he is holding. They are now seated in one of the corner tables in the university cafeteria, trying to pretend that the French toast they are sulkily and reluctantly nibbling on is something out of a five star restaurant. Two hours before 9 AM, they are determined to make the most of their time together. "That of all people, Naruto is your first? Uzumaki Naruto! That you and him are fuck buddies in highschool…" He runs his hand around his hair in incredulity and disbelief. "Great… Just fucking great. What's next? That you and Sai dated before too?"

"What?" Poor Hinata is only left dumbly astounded, unreceptive of sarcasm as always. "What do you mean…? No! We didn't date!." She seems to have been hurt by his remark, as if thinking she could date a lot of better guys than the faggot he has for a perverted roommate. "Naruto-kun and I never dated either. We just… used each other for a year and that's that."

"You mean, he used you." He corrects. "There's a difference."

"Ano… Sakura-chan didn't give him the time of the day just yet so…"

"So? Exactly. So he practiced on you so that he can entice the hussy into bedding him and be amazed by Uzumaki's prowess. Tch." He just now lost whatever respect he had for his roommate now. He was like this in highschool? "Didn't know the dobe had it in him."

"Good Sage no…" She shakes her head so vigorously it reminds him of Akamaru drying himself after being coerced into a shower. Her jumping on Naruto's defense upsets him. Sasuke frowns. Hinata gulps. "Ano…Naruto-kun… Naruto-kun is just a lost soul bound by one-sided love." She whispers as though that is reason enough. "I had been as well. You know I used to like him right? And yet he never noticed. By being with each other, I think we just took what we could at the time. We were fifteen…" she trails off shortly before adding sadly. "… and stupid."

After just blatantly surrendering herself to his mercy, Sasuke doesn't really have an answer to that.

Silence resurfaces, even made more stifling than when they were Skyping, now that they are actually face to face and practically breathing the same suffocating air. Sasuke is still wounded that she had gone as far as reducing herself into a mere broodmare in order to be seen differently by the one she love. But if you think about it, a guilt-tripped Naruto would most likely do something if only to appease the overwhelming feeling that he had not repaid Hinata enough. He had gotten Sakura. What is there left for her? Matchmaking her with someone would have been the logical step… And Naruto, if you readers don't remember is the one who made the plans to let them meet.

In the end, Hinata's "mistake" is the one that ultimately led them to this day. Him and her. Sasuke and Hinata. Together.

Sasuke realizes that he doesn't really mind.

One of them had to lead into the proceedings anyway. He likes how Hinata wants to be on top. Pity they have to wait for next week and a motel reservation to accomplish that.

With an abrupt grunt, he rises from his seat and roughly takes Hinata's hands to his. The girl looks up to him, thoroughly startled.

He bows down to kiss her softly, mischievously whispering his plan. "We still have time. And there's the janitor closet." He discretely tugs down the zipper of the shirt he let her borrow, brushing his fingers in cacophonic fumbling on her collarbone. This is enough to make Hinata hear those proverbial ringing of her ears again. "We might as well have a little quickie."

This is own horny way of telling her that he doesn't really care one way or another.

Sasuke knows. Sasuke knows. Sasuke knows. That's it has always been easy for him to be better than Naruto.

And matters with Hinata, he thinks as he pulls her down insistently towards seclusion, shall be no fucking exception.

Pun intended.

(TBC)

.

**.**

**Yay! Hinata is Naruto's fuck buddy in highschool? OMFG. I don't think that's as surprising as it should be because I have been hinting of that history as early as the second chapter. Do you guys remember the phone sex where Naruto gets turned on, scene? He hints there that he pretty much knows Hinata SEXUALLY. What she prefers and stuff. And the threesome remark too which only states that he had been at least comfortable of imagining Hinata in bed with him at some point. But if you think that's the extent of Hinata's "secret", then you are in for er, well a surprise. Lol. The drama starts at chappie seven… Hn. Hope I still have not scared the readers by the time. **

**I published another multichapter that I am as determined to finish as this. It features an STD!Sasuke x loner!Hinata. It's major, major angst so I hope it's going to be a pleasant break from my disgustingly corny jokes and awfully unfunny puns. I'm sure there are far more talented authors out there who can spin that plot device into a very absorbing tale but I really want to write this story. It has been with me for a while now. **

**Thanks for all your nice reviews and encouragement. You have no idea how much you make me happy with each message miinaa.. I'd like to read mooore….. **

**Review :D**

**.**

**.**


	7. Intervention

. 07

.

"I want us to try something." He grips her ass, squeezing the cheeks suggestively. Hinata squeaks and promptly slaps the hand away. "They say that the best things happen here." He pouts, rubbing his injured knuckles.

Shivering ensues. The already warm, heavy air getting harder to lift away from her lungs as the predatory gleam in Sasuke's eyes continues to shine even in the darkened room. The smell of dust, inactivity and the strongest—spoiled fish- wafts around their senses in an inexorable lingering that however does little to ease the obvious tension between the couple. Or at least, Sasuke's hard on is still proudly inflated even at the wake of these abominable discomfort. Smelly room? Absence of a warm bed? Even a dirty, grimy floor? So far he hasn't been discouraged. Sasuke, it seems is quite the Spartan when it comes to getting laid.

On the other hand, Hinata has never been a big fan of on the spot, without-any-taste sex. Hell, she hasn't even tried the backseat kink Hanabi swears to death is so hot you'd forget there's an air conditioner whirring in the background. Hinata is the homely, private type who prefers things to happen in the comfort of a warm, fluffy bed where you are sure you'd fall on something safe when you are thrown and tossed around. And you have something to hide on when somebody walks in because your guy is too much of an assuming airhead to even think about locking the door. Hyuuga Hinata is not a masochist or a person who understands the thrill of getting caught, thank you very much so she doesn't exactly appreciate being pounded mercilessly against a hard wall like an unresponsive Tiffany doll.

And oh, did she mention that Sasuke doesn't even have plans about wearing a condom? She's on birth control, true but he should at least have considered the repercussions that might come off after too much impetuous sex and too little of a necessary foresight. We don't want them multiplying here. And we all know that both Hyuugas and Uchihas breed children like a rodent. How else would they manage to make themselves the biggest clans? Making love anywhere, anytime and so hard you'd bleed? That should lead something for two healthy, very, very fertile people. Because for consistency's sake, even Chucky who is a damn doll had a son!

Anyway, she hugs herself closer, face flaming and her knees violently shaking as she tries to emulate the reluctant girlfriend as much as possible. That she is not yet ready to lie against brooms and fit herself into a closet. Because she is not a damn doll. There's the restroom after all, which at least has enough disinfectant all around to be bearable. And a toilet seat. And a very convenient source of water. To which Sasuke only frowns defiantly in answer, obviously not feeling at all like an oppressive rapist.

Hinata sighs. "Ano… Sasuke-kun…" she starts, rather fearfully, her eyes blinking back tears. "I think… Ano… I don't think… Now is the time…" Or place, she muses while surreptitiously glancing at the stinking trash bin situated at the corner of the room. The less said about the smell the better. "… to try to be ano… adventurous."

"We still have an hour." He states sulkily like a denied child would. Hinata would have found him cute if he is not trying in vain to entice her with a strip tease. Which altogether obliterates the cute vibe. Removing his tie. Unlocking a few buttons. Zipping his pants down slightly. If anything, he looks ludicrous. And then he gets a little more desperate. Dragging her hands to touch him… HIM. Letting it rub against the erection. Deliberately moaning her name. "Hina-ah" When both of them know that her fingers didn't even come close into brushing HIM sensually. When still she doesn't get turned on enough to start ravishing him (raping?) right there and then as he had hoped, he finally ends up putting his trousers down, showing to the world (his world: aka Hinata) his engorged, flaming, very much hard member.

Hinata gasps.

Sasuke smirks.

Hinata thinks he really looks cartoony ridiculous now.

Sasuke wonders if he really is that attractive.

He's big though. Really big. No one can deny that.

To say that she is not tempted to just stab herself with that enormity would be hypocrisy. In fact, it looks so perfect right now that Hinata is starting to have second thoughts from totally fleeing from this death chamber. Maybe she'd be distracted by the smell of his essence long enough to forget the smelly, completely biodegradable dead fish abandoned by the fired janitor somewhere? He looks so suckable right now. Provided that he wouldn't get the veins in his legs in a varicose when he remains standing for a long, long time for her to suck him into oblivion. Hinata didn't really enjoy the mechanics and the sacrifices required for a man's standard for a fulfilling fellatio. In fact, her gagging reflex is so repulsive it did scare Naruto many a time that he ultimately just didn't attempt to implore her in it again, calling it degrading and stuff that would later be reasons for him to break their arrangement.

But she is older now. And may have possibly developed a more resilient throat muscle. Other than that, Sasuke's package seems to be so big that it leads her to wonder how much she can fit into her mouth. And how sensitive it is since she seems to manage to inspire a boner by just speaking to him. How about she speak to HIM then? She giggles at her own kinky thoughts, surprised by her own self. She must still be really ecstatic that Sasuke doesn't mind her… experience at all.

So it's true. Sasuke indeed has some superiority and inferiority complex.

Sasuke watches her hungrily eye his shaft and smirks to himself in exultance. He reaches for her face, kisses her passionately and whispers as an encouraging breath on the folds of her mouth. "I don't mind standing for the next fifteen minutes." He murmurs, ghosting over her nose and feeling satisfied at the harsh pants that are now coming out in gasps. "We certainly do need the lube for our next task." He smacks her ass. "Nobody else took you here, right?"

Hinata moans an honest assent as she pulls herself to kneel down before him, her mouth wide open in order to fully envelope HiM. "That's why I know it would hurt." She says after a mouthful of large man-dick and some prickly pubic hair. Sasuke groans at the resonating vibrations from her throat, fisting his hand on her dark, dark hair, very much like he did in his dreams. Only that it actually feels softer than it already looks to be, like water freely evading your grasp (Or… he winces, as the dobe would have compared, like a particularly stubborn ramen strand). Does she really need to murmur that with him being eaten like that? "But I won't mind…" Hinata resumes and it plainly drives him crazy. "… as I myself want to try it too. But not here please? Somewhere else. I'd make it up to you. I promise."

She doesn't wait for any response. He is too busy gasping superficially for that. And so she begins the drill, tonguing him with one long, lapping stroke on the base and a devious pump on those she can't reach. Sasuke's eyes pops open in pleasure, disbelief dominating in his features as he futilely tries to comprehend what in this fastidious world can bring him this much satisfaction.

Finally, he has her. Sasuke only wishes that they have more time.

The clock ticks.

.

.

Ten A.M. Konoha train station. Rush hour. And one freaking hour AFTER the deadline they are inconsiderately given for appearance. Sasuke and Hinata still disheveled from the session in the janitor's closet, unable to look at each other lest it means another detested goodbye. He has an arm wrapped securely around her shoulders though for he did notice the appraising glances the male in the university gave his girlfriend—the same people who once dismissed her without thought for the more hippy and slutty species like Ino and Sakura. As if Sasuke-fangirling isn't already a major turn-off. America does wonders. Hinata looks more beautiful now than the typical Beverly Hills chick.

He draws her closer, feeling her quaking against him. This is indicative only of her growing impatience with the glaring fact that her younger sister apparently has the gutsy galls to set rules for them she wouldn't even try to follow. Foot tapping on the pavement. Staccato rhythm so grating you would be able to hear it above the rumbles of the train (if it still rumbles that is… that's so Victorian after all)

An hour wasted waiting. They could have spent it already on just checking in a motel and having several hot quickies and maybe even the most kinky shower session. And let's not forget the buttsex. They can accomplish that in two hours on a nice bed. But life somehow, is not so sweet. The farthest they got a while ago in the janitor's closet is Sasuke coming so powerfully in Hinata's mouth before the girl wipes her lips up and takes a look at her watch and oh Sasuke… Hanabi is going to have my head if we're late! Good thing she has some baby wipes handy in her purse (the reason why she smells like lavender and vanilla? Lavanilla? He rather likes that.) or else they'd be breaking Rule Number Three and look like he just pissed his pants off at the sight of a rabidly, salivating Hinata. Or worse, people thinking Hinata is drooling because he just soiled his jeans.

Damn.

Ten-thirty. Train hisses. No Hanabi.

Ten thirty-one. Intercom reminding people who doesn't have any business there to leave. Still nothing. People pass by them. None of them look like the head Sasuke wants to strangle so much.

Ten thirty-two. Hinata finally snaps. She stands up, groaning and for the first time in his life, hears her swear about having Hanabi's head for a change.

As if on cue, her phone rings. Ikimono Gakari sings in the background, her wonderful voice doing nothing on appeasing Hinata's fuming self. Angrily, she fishes out the phone from her pocket, a violet piece of touchscreen plastic that has the fire symbol for a keychain. She puts it near her ear and she opens her mouth to raise hell…

Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.

To his disappointment, Hinata only listens to her sister give her excuses with a frown. So Hanabi became a machine gun spouting nonsense the first moment… Little sisters are little monsters too, it seems. "So you're telling me…" Hinata complains in exasperation using the stern-older-sister tone Sasuke sometimes hear from his mother whenever someone in her maiden family cries their eyes out to her shoulder because of a cheating husband. Sasuke doesn't know if he's about to root that Hanabi is on the same boat. Because who would want an annoying, whining younger sister stealing your remaining time with your sexily., lovely girlfriend? "… that you are staying here in Konoha… because well, Konohamaru is celebrating his grandpa's birthday tomorrow? Two more days! Hanabi!"

He perks up. Two more days for Hanabi? What the? Sasuke expects a remonstrance featuring an angry father, an upset father and a disapproving father. Hinata did mention once in their hastiness to come here at exactly nine that for the longest time, Hiashi has always been their conscience. So everything should be about Father. Hiashi is quite the man, it seems.

And that he doesn't really appreciate latecomers.

Thankfully, Sasuke isn't like Kakashi or else, he would have no chance at all.

"… don't you think it's a bit unfair if you let me go ahead? Sasuke and my anniversary is only a week away as well. You know, I'm leaving in two weeks too. And we certainly would like to spend—"

Hanabi interrupts. Squack. Squack. Squack.

Meanwhile, Sasuke rejoices inwardly. She remembers! He himself would like to have as much fun with her as possible to last another year of just sticking with Skype. That covers being adventurous. And fucking her from behind!

Surprisingly, it's Hinata who does the outward dance though. "Really? Hanabi! Thank you. Thank you. You really are an angel" A kissing sound. "Love you. Bye." Dial tone. Toot. Toot. Toot.

Sasuke has his mouth agape in wonder and askance. "Huh?"

Hinata grins in answer, then blushes bashfully. "Ano. Two more days Sasuke-kun…" she drawls excitedly, clapping her hands together and wrapping them around his neck. She kisses his nose, something she made clear she is very fascinated with since the beginning. He feels his pants twitch for the undetermined time of the day. "… I would be staying here in two more days! Seems like Hanabi has managed to tweak something up with Chichue behind my back. It's a good thing she's the favorite. Woohoo." Then she pauses in thought, lips pursing. "But do we have the money for a hotel check-in in the meantime? Because ano… I certainly—"

"Don't bother." He interjects, sounding cool and well true to his words, unbothered. He shrugs. "I'm an Uchiha." As if that is reason enough.

Two hours later, at the Presidential Suite in the Sharingan Hotel and Restaurant while Sasuke requests for a well-deserved brunch over the phone ("For energy." He mentions, smirking. "While I stay on top."), Hinata realizes that indeed being an Uchiha is reason enough. She lies on the king-sized bed, watching her barely dressed boyfriend insist something over the smallest matter that doesn't even concern her nakedness too. Because dammit… she feels awkward being turned on like this and not getting anything because of… food.

After reminding the poor soul from the other line that he prefers his pizza with more tomatoes than anchovies, Sasuke turns to her. He is grinning deviously. "You mind if we are going to be locked up here for the next two days?"

Hinata shakes her head. No. Definitely not.

"Good." He says, coming up closer to her. He is crawling. He looks like a cat. Awww. "Because my mother is due to check things up here just in time before I set you free. And I want her to meet you." He puts his luscious lips on her neck, nipping and sucking softly. "I'm sure she would approve of you."

Not replying, Hinata only opens her legs for him.

Sasuke squeezes, presses, inserts himself in.

And for the second time that morning, they feel complete.

.

.

What started on him being cool and amazing on top ends up pleasantly on her riding him.

Much to his eternal embarrassment, the short blowjob session in the utility room has left Sasuke with more sensitive nerves than a horny prepubescent boy watching cheap porn and thereby driving him to lose it even before Hinata got started. A few shallow thrusts here and there… Getting pumped up by what in his mind is the best pussy in the world… And the fact that Hinata was under him and calling his name… Not Naruto's… And oh, her hands travelling around and about his chest as if searching for some kind of sexy man hair… Thus had been enough for the Earth to stop spinning on it's axis and him to ultimately dissolve into rippling pleasure, muttering something about "Hinata!" and he had slumped into a stunned mannequin, his vision turning to black.

He hears Hinata shyly complain about something he always feared.

She hasn't come yet.

To Hinata's credit, she isn't one to take shit for his ineptitude, only to patiently wait for the less-than-stimulated Sasuke to regain his reigns as a man and revert into full sex-god mode again. That makes her so special. She can forgive. Taking initiative, she flips their positions so that he lies on his back, with his eyes wide and anticipating. This is all so familiar. She faces him, smiles and straddles him as she slowly kneels down to prepare herself in the famous lowering motion. She seals their tryst, while keeping both knees fixed strongly on the bed. She rubs her womanhood against the head, twirling along it in an alluring circular motion. Sasuke mumbles a plea. Hinata smilingly complies. She actually looks smug about it. And finally, he sees himself disappear inside her again…

He braces himself, crossing his fingers…

No Naruto right?...No? No?

Whew…

Seated on him, her hands begin to caress his and tacitly direct him to hold her waist. Sasuke is more than glad to follow her lead and he dutifully begins to massage the pelvic bones he is made to be in contact with, driving Hinata to an edge where she bounces even more powerfully up and down to him. Her rhythm erratically pushes him to another wave of all-too-soon ejaculation. But for Hinata, he holds it. It's like when you are stuck holding your balls because a toilet is just inaccessible. It's unbearable until it… isn't.

He isn't about to look pathetic. Even though she basically is the one with the upperhand now.

As if being inside her again isn't enough though, (is he the one being punished here or something? This is torture) she curls her feet around the inside of his legs… grabs the white bedsheets around his head and gives him a quick peck on the lips. Hinata begins the game by squeezing her butt, tilting her pelvis and moving again in small, tight motions. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.

Oh My Sage…

Thank whatever Kami that is hitting those love arrows all around the world that Naruto is both dumb enough to leave her and smart enough to pair Sasuke, of all people up with this goddess.

So here we have our overly submissive and highly turned-on Sasuke, watching in fascination as his girlfriend's lovely breasts gallop sexily in mid-air, feet suspended in a continuous lever to help her sink and retract herself from him in a very desirable pace. She grinds herself against him in quick controlled motions, their sex oh-co-carnally connected. Hinata's hair goes wild around her head. She flicks it up to another side, unbothered by the fact that she actually is sans her famous bangs now, everything made damp by the sweat that her effort is quickly accumulating. She ignores the cramps and resumes her work, undaunted as she pumps him like a faucet for her own release.

Sasuke is rendered more impulsive by this. He sneakily lets his fingers trail around her hips… to her dripping asshole… and without warning, plunges one inside.

Shocked, Hinata pauses mid-dick, letting herself adjust in the sudden but welcomed intrusion. She gives him a questioning glance, before slowly dawning to her that he is considerately preparing her for what is to come when he takes his revenge for besting him in Round One.

Sasuke grins in satisfaction. He plunges even deeper, earning himself a wanton moan.

Being impaled in both sides does something unadultered to Hinata. Her motions become faster, more excited, more determined on getting undone and so Sasuke bravely inserts another finger.

"Aahh.." Hinata screams.

He adds another. Three. He pumps. Fast, hard.

"Oohhh.." she relents into moaning. The slowing down of her thrusting on him a signal of her impending undoing. The string uncoils and Hinata practically shrieks "Sasuke-kun.." And there is the proverbial white light as she pours herself completely to him.

It's Sasuke's turn.

Well-lubricated now that he is soaked entirely of her womanly essence, he withdraws himself from her. Turns her over. Parts open her ass cheeks. Braces her through more of his fingering. He lathers a bit of her own fluids around her insides, making her shudder and breathless underneath him. He likes doing this to her. She deserves it. And so without any more ado after she begs him to just do it ("Ano… Sasuke-kun.. can you please hurry up?" "Curse for me" "Eeeeh?" He sighs. "Never mind."), he enters her from behind.

Screaming together, Sasuke realizes that they have just been baptized.

He is no longer a virgin.

And she is now officially his.

.

.

Two days, several special pizza deliveries and a hugely suspicious hotel staff later as Hinata is preparing to swallow Sasuke… LITTLE SASUKE! whole, an ominous knock on the door is heard. Three raps. Soft but with distinguishable authority.

Sasuke's darkdarkdark eyes widen in alarm.

Hinata could only squeak indignantly when Sasuke shoves her away from him, in a flurry of hurried movements to search for his clothes. While Hinata dumbly stares, finding herself frozen when he harshly ordered her to get dressed too… like immediately.

He is already halfway on his shirt when he notices her in that state, regarding him with a stunned and perplexed expression and her kissable mouth agape. Let's not get started with her state of undress as well. She is so surprised by his rashness that she forgets that it would just be in character for her to grab some blankets and cover herself up. He glares at her (hoping that it would come off more as a smoldering look of profound desire) and prompts. "I know that knock…" he replies to her unspoken question, tossing to her the hotel robe. The clothes she wore is nowhere to be seen. What do they know? They have been all nude in the last thirty-six hours and couldn't care less whether it's under the bed or six feet under the ground. But they have to care. Like… now! "And if we don't show ourselves to her in thirty seconds, I wouldn't doubt that she would easily find the key."

True enough, the knob turns.

.

.

To say Uchiha Mikoto is surprised to see a scantily-clad young woman before her own son is a grave understatement and a flatout lie. Because come on, the one assigned in the front desk, as well as the waiters, the doorman, the giggling chambermaids and even their supervising manager has bluntly told her that her baby Sasuke is in his own customary suite. Which is unusual in itself since he otherwise didn't care of that nicety he got as the second son from his wonderful mother. But what's more? He had been there for two days. And with a girl no less.

No question about what they are doing. Mikoto is very sure they are not there locking themselves away for a paired homework. Because firstly, they aren't in highschool anymore. And oh, did she mention the thing about the heavily blushing chambermaids?

So the truth is… Uchiha Mikoto is proud!

And he has great taste too, she muses eyeing the girl thoroughly from what is visible beneath the blankets she now had the sense to obscure herself with now that she's in their presence. Blue hair. Fair skin. Great body anyone would have killed and well, paid for. And that adorable flush. You can pointedly ignore the Hyuuga eyes. She's perfect! Is this her long lost daughter or something? Because come on, if it weren't for Fugaku and Hiashi being little cockblocker bastards, a Hyuuchiha union would have happened sooner. They have that much sexual tension. Leave Fugaku and Hiashi in a room and it probably would be an NC-17 yaoi.

"Mother." Sasuke greets, awkwardly. How cute.

"Sasuke." She acknowledges cordially in response, but her eyes are still fixed on the girl. Mikoto advances further inside, kicking the door behind her with a thud. No need to bother with damn eavesdroppers. She isn't the mood to fire anyone now that her son is finally having sex. She stares at the trembling girl who seems like she just wants to get into a hole and forever be consumed by worms right there and now. And smiles warmly. "And who do we have here?"

"My girlfriend." Is Sasuke's curt answer. Mikoto is shocked. So this is not just a one-night-stand that got too far? Wow. That's a pleasant surprise. And the Uchiha matriarch is apparently in for more. "We've been dating for two years already actually."

What? "A Hyuuga!" She exclaims, thoroughly mind-blown. How has he managed to hide this from the Hyuuga's all-seeing eyes? That clan has more bodyguards on-the-go exceeding the population of their own kinsmen. "You've been dating a Hyuuga for two years!"

"Tch." Her son grumbles, ushering the girl's form to shuffle away to the privacy of the bathroom, which the Hyuuga seems to be only relieved to do. Sasuke glares at his mother as the door shuts with finality, looking irritated. How cute. "I didn't know you'd be coming this early. We were actually just about to prepare ourselves in meeting you. And oh, don't be so much of a worrier. There's nothing really wrong about being a Hyuuga."

"Of course." She amends, aware about how she sounded rather racist. "What are you doing here by the way?"

"Hm. Preparing to meet you as I said?"

Hm? So he is having a breakfast in bed then? What preparation! "Well somebody called me that you are here… so I decided to see what's up." She directs her gaze towards the restroom's door, grinning from ear to ear with mischief. The girl who has been with her baby for two years. She must be really special for him to her here knowing that introducing the girl to his mother afterwards would be inevitable. Is the myth of the Uchiha's One True Love still true in the latest generation? "Your niisan would love to hear about this, you know."

"Geez. No thanks." Sasuke shrugs the notion away with nonchalance, giving his mother an imploring gaze. "So just scram away in the meantime, will you? Hinata and I will meet you at the dining hall, okay? We would be presentable by then, I promise."

"You know Sasuke… I really think I'd get to like her.."

Sasuke smiles. And this is something that stuns Mikoto for the third time of the day. Her son haven't smiled like that since he is seven and cuddly. "I know you would." He says with a grin. "Uchihas always think alike. And I know Father would approve of my choice no matter what. At least I'm not gay, hm?" He chuckles. And the sound is like music to any mother's ears.

He really is in love isn't he?

..

.

Hinata is in seventh heaven. Being continuously fed by all of her dream delicacies is just a bonus. Cinnamon rolls. Black Forest Cake. Even banana split. Sasuke beside her, looking more than just the cool, unafflicted guy she first knew him as. He has a hand resting lightly on her knee, fingers trailing on her skin, a smile of contentment plastered on his handsome face. Before them sits the Uchiha Matriarch. A beautiful woman with a gentle face that might have looked like Sasuke's if he didn't try to be rather apathetic about it when Hinata first mentioned the resemblance. Shoving several of these tasty desserts to her side of the table, the Hyuuga could only do little but to politely try them all and give her honest comments without being too critical. The whole time, Mikoto has been treating her kindly, nodding to her whim and fussing over her. And it strikes her like a painful wave of realization that this is how her own mother would have reacted had she been the one to introduce Sasuke first

Mikoto is aghast when she hears that the closest they ever have been before this, is through Skype. "At least you didn't get together through OmiAi though…" she concedes into consolation, imagining the disaster of getting engaged with a stranger in this era. Two decades ago, it was okay. Most of those that are paired are eligible men who you would learn to love in time. Now, teenagers that aren't dreamy fanfiction authors think it's an embodiment of a nightmarish relationship. "So it's true that the internet paves way to bridges. I might as well have Itachi surf for some sites hm."

And there's the story of the fateful first meeting. "So now I know who exactly the dedication in my son's thesis has been for. I quote: 'To the special girl who helped me'…" She laughs heartily, rubbing her hands together in merriment. "To be honest I thought it was me…"

"Tch." Sasuke is as cynical as ever. "You wish."

Mikoto ignores this. "So Sasuke didn't really beat Itachi on his own! He has a partner in crime…" she rejoices, as if elated by this and undeterred by her son's prompt to completely shut her up. "I always know that behind every great man, there is a strong woman. And that makes me love all the more eh, Hinata-chan…" She purrs in delight. "I think this is how my daughter would look if I have been given one. You're so pretty. Fugaku would really like you. Never mind that he hates Hiashi but you look nothing like him so it's okay. You have siblings Hinata-chan?"

"I have a younger sister. Hanabi. Ano… she's seventeen…"

"Ah… I see. Too bad. Too young for Itachi eh?"

Sasuke chokes on his tea. Hinata sweatdrops while patting his poor, strangled boyfriend on the back. The mental image… ew… He might just never recover. Imagining their siblings together is like seeing their father shake hands. Just ew. "Ano, actually... Mikoto-san she already has a boyfriend…"

"Too bad again." Mikoto feigns an all-too-obvious sigh of disappointment. "I would have liked a granddaughter right now..."

Another wave of awkwardness. Oooh.. In which Mikoto wonders whether the result of a Hyuuga and an Uchiha procreating is some sort of a gray-eyed Athena that is so much of a smartass she would cause the end of the world.

"Hinata's in birth control for the next month…" Sasuke interrupts his mother's tirade acidly with a less than subtle cough. "So don't get your hopes up…"

"Well, we could always look forward for the next—"

"And Hinata's off to America next month as well." He cuts in, rolling his eyes "For all we know, we might not see each other for a year or so. We wouldn't want any child of mine to be illegitimated, eh? "

Hinata wonders to herself how the hell they got into the question of her being a wife. Because hello? They are just having sex, okay? What's with this and a… child? She shivers at the thought.

"That's cruel!" Mikoto gasps, hands on her palpitating heart. "Who do we blame for this?"

"Why! Cockblock master Hyuuga Hiashi himself!" He looks at Hinata, eyebrows raised. "No offense."

She shrugs ruefully, imparting that she's taking none.

Silence.

Mikoto has her nose scrunched in thought. "So what do we do with this Sasuke-kun?" she questions her son, fingers steepled and legs crossed, looking regally as possible for the role of the couple's guardian angel. "I don't think you'd appreciate being drawn away from her again now you have an idea what she feels like."

"Ano… I'm still here… Hehe…" Hinata laughs nervously. Wow. Hyuugas never talk with each other during meals. Seems like the Uchiha doesn't follow the same sort of etiquette.

"Hahaue.. the more appropriate question is that…" Sasuke pauses, as though for effect. "… what would _you _do?"

Indeed what could, she as a mother do for her future grandchildren?

Mikoto can think of a dozen things to sabotage.

(TBC)

**Early post because I'd be super busy next week. **

**So ask me, why do my lemons lack details? **

**The problem with me as non-English speaker is that my vocabulary doesn't cover much verbs. I have adjectives, adverbs, nouns in my arsenal but verbs are my weakness and we all know that for a lemon to be kinky, we have to know what the characters are doing the whole time. It doesn't help at all that I actually have no idea what should transpire and only writes through impulse. My sex scene didn't turn me on so I won't be surprised if you got bored out of your minds as well. **

**Okay. I lied. I postponed yet another revelation because adding it in here would be hugely anti-climactic. Tch. But don't worry, this wouldn't traverse much to angst. I like laughing at my own corny jokes and I realized that humor is actually the easiest to write. I have had troubles with **_**Love Wheel**_** even though I know exactly where it would go and how it would end. As we speak, I am doing the finishing touches of the second chapter and it should be updated this Wednesday. Read it, if insane!Sasuke is your jam. **

**Thanks to: guest101 (who reviewed three chapters in one go…), Saki-Hime, Ookami Tsubasawa (I remembered reading your fics while I was new here), LuluMonk (are you Filipino? I just have the feeling…), A sunny place for Sasuke (still cool username), maxridelover, roti bakar, RikuDai, nanitaa and of course the nameless Guests. **

**Please review.**

EDIT: I believe some people may find one of the remarks here rather offensive and hinting of my racism. For safety, I decided to just remove it. I am made aware by a review that it isn't excusable and I am sorry for that. But if I be given a chance to explain myself, Sasuke's apparent "racism" as someone have coined, is more like his tendency to stereotype *to me (it was meant to imply that Sasuke has been watching too much second-rate TV series which Hinata whi is from America would later contradict) which I am planning to address next chapter. But then, even that wasn't given to me and I was called a racist for making a character speak. I am NOT a racist. In fact, I move actively against it. .

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